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Kavita and Hemal laughing

How to Know If You Are Being Yourself On a Date

I realized something the other day. We are told all the time, before going on an interview or a first date (or practically anything that is major in life): “Be yourself.” We hear that over and over again from friends and family.

The thing is, what does that really mean?? Are you ever like, Okay, if it was that easy, I think I would know what to do!  RIGHT?! Have you ever stopped in those moments and wondered what does “being yourself” even look like?

Well, the over-analytical person that I am, I have definitely questioned what it looks like to “be myself.” And so I came up with ways to know if I am being myself.

 

The #1 way you know if you are being yourself is…

First, I need to tell you a story. I love stories, and if you haven’t figured that out yet, you will! I find that the best way to teach is through storytelling – exactly how we have been doing it for generations.

My life is mostly an open book (being cautious of hurting others), so I’m not afraid to tell you something from my life that might even be embarrassing! If you were to ask anyone in my life if I was funny, they would say: “Absolutely not!” I know, hurtful, right?! I think I can be funny!

What they will also say is: “Well, you are funny, but it is when you don’t know you are being funny.” When one of my best friends, Debbie, said that (yes, I still have “best friends”), I was like, “REALLY… Okay, so when people are laughing, it is more AT me than WITH me!” And Debbie replied, in of course a not-so-crushing way, “…Kind of…”

From that point forward, I labeled myself as not funny.

But, over the past couple of years, I have really come into my own. What do I mean by that? Well, I am SO much more comfortable in my skin than I have been in my entire life. That is why I like getting older. I know – weird, but true. And something miraculous has happened…

I have become more funny!

I am definitely not ready to do stand up or anything, though I do think that takes some real balls or ovaries to get up there with the purpose of deliberately making people laugh. The pressure!

I have distinctively noticed that when I am comfortable with myself and being me, what un-mistakenly happens is that laughs are solicited, even when I have no clue what I just said to make people laugh.

A sure sign of you being yourself – whether you have declared yourself funny or not – is… if you are getting laughs! Okay, so even if they are laughing AT you, which is true a lot of times in my case, you are still generating something within someone else. And that something is in the form of a laugh that comes from a soul-filled place.

A laugh cannot be controlled or regulated — not a real one. And if you are receiving a laugh, that means another person was struck by something you authentically said or did.

So, the Number #1 way to know if you are being yourself while you are on a date (or at a job interview or out with friends) is… if you are soliciting laughs! This can be your external trigger to realize that yes: you are on the right track. This has nothing to do with deliberately trying to make others laugh just so you can feel like you are being yourself – unless that does allow you to feel more natural!

Generating laughter from others can simply be an outward sign that confirms something is on target with you internally!

In Love,
Kavita

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  • peggy trelford

    Hi Kavita,llalaugh

    I wrote to you last before I was traveling from Chicago to CA for a job interview. I had a severe allergic reaction the day before the interview & ended up in ER. Had to reschedule the interview and I was all hyped up on prednisone. The VP I was interviewing with was smiling the whole time. I thought everything was going great untill he asked me what my earliest memory was. I said sitting on the couchwtching TV with my 10 brothers and sisters, lauth}ghi