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Stressed out by being with family?

Happy Holidays! I can’t believe another year is drawing to a close. It is an interesting time of year for me in particular, because my birthday and the holiday season hit all at once, and I find myself spending a lot of time in introspection during the month of December. So, in today’s post I wanted to share a realization that I had and a method to help you feel the love from your family during the holidays, especially when so many of us are dreading being around our family for more than several hours.

This week I was in Barbados for my birthday. Here’s a picture from our hotel room:

When it turned midnight on my birthday, I had a moment. A flood of memories from this past year popped up and it really struck me how far I have come in pursuing my purpose on this planet. I received birthday wishes from so many of you, and you told me how what I am doing is making a difference for you. Hemal told me, “Most people get birthday wishes from their family and friends, and you are getting that PLUS ones where people are expressing to you how you have changed their lives.”

It didn’t strike me until that moment and he was so right (don’t tell him I said he was right!). When I let that in, tears started to stream down my face- don’t worry, they were happy tears! What I have learned about love in the last year is that there can NEVER be enough. I feel so honored to have love being thrown at me from all directions, and my mission is to have you feel that too.

When you eat, your stomach tells you, “I can’t have anymore or I will bust!” When you are laying out in the sun, there is a point at which you will have to move to the shade or go into the water to find relief from the heat. When you spend time with friends, there is a point at which you want to be alone. There are points with so many aspects of life where you have had enough, and with love, you could be showering in it all day everyday and no one would ever say, “I have had enough love for today.” It feels good…satisfying…fulfilling. The more we feel it, the more we can give.

So during your holiday break, take in the love that people are throwing at you. I will be honest: at times, it can be deceiving and be disguised as something else. Occasionally it may take the form of criticism, such as a family member saying to you, “Haven’t you found someone yet?” or judgment, “You are the last person I thought would still be single!” or misunderstanding, “Why haven’t you stayed in touch?” In any of these cases I promise, especially if it coming from family members, their intentions are good, meaning that they want the best for you, and yet the way it comes off to you may be totally different.  I promise I am not trying to spin shitty experiences into love! I know there are things that people say that hurt, and that is okay. However, most of us are wired to constantly look at the shitty stuff, and there are ALWAYS two sides to a coin. So, this holiday season I am inviting you to look at both sides of the coin.

The best method to see both sides of the coin and actually feel the love during what seems like a shitty moment with a family member is by asking “What do you mean by that?” or by saying “I know you are saying that out of love, right?”

There will also be some very obvious ways in which people are trying to love you. Have your love radar on HIGH and if you have your smart phone nearby, make a quick note of it in your notepad app. Maybe:

Grandma made me something special. I may not love it but it was made out of love.

I overheard dad telling someone how proud he is of me. Even if he doesn’t tell me.

Mom lovingly smiled at me.

My brother lovingly punched me in the arm.

My sister wrote me a beautiful card. 

Note that down; it is much more pleasurable to be with family during the holidays when you are using that time to fill yourself up with love. Everything is perspective, so try something different this year; shift it to see the sides you haven’t seen yet.

Lovework:

This week, ask your family member, “What do you mean by that?” or “I know you are saying that out of love, right?” if you come across an uncomfortable situation. Clear the air and choose to see the other side of the coin. Tell me how this shifted your holiday experience in the comments below!

P.S. Last week was the last week of my Done With Being Single: 12 Weeks to Finding Lasting Love program. I had so much fun teaching and seeing the transformations that were occurring for the women in the program. The results that they saw within 12 weeks blew me away! Here is what Sarah accomplished in 3 months:

“Before joining DWBS, I knew I was a great catch but I couldn’t seem to move past going on only a few dates with men and any relationships that I had never lasted more than 2 months. In working with Kavita, some major shifts occurred in my approach to relationships which really opened me up to see a man for who he really was rather than who I wanted him to be (which always caused me to dump or dismiss him before I really got to know him). My anxiety about finding the “perfect” guy used to keep me from moving forward in a relationship, but now I feel like I have gotten past that “hump” and I can have the relationship that I want without sabotaging my efforts. I’ve been dating a great guy for 3 months now and I’m really happy about where we stand as a couple.”

That is AWESOME. If you want to be placed on the waiting list for when I roll out Done With Being Single:12 Weeks to Finding Lasting Love again in the spring, CLICK HERE. Scroll all the way down and sign up now!

In happiness,


 

 

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