Last weekend I went home to celebrate my mom’s 60th birthday. She is an amazing woman.
Witnessing your parents getting older is such an interesting experience. As a child, they are these extremely powerful people that rule your world… Then as you grow older, they become people with flaws. And the final phase of this relationship is when they begin to need you, instead of the other way around.
Life is amazing that way – always creating opportunities to humble us.
I admire my mother so much, and not just because she’s my mother. She’s been through a lot in her life. Here’s a snippet of her story:
My mother’s father, my grandfather, was a doctor in India. A hospital in Cincinnati, OH asked him to come to the U.S. and practice there. This was in the 1950’s, a time when there were very few Indians from India here.
In the 40’s, he first visited the States, traveling by boat. It took him one month to get here.
He accepted the invitation from the hospital, and moved his entire family over. My mom was 12 years old. They enrolled her in school, and she was the only Indian in her entire school, except for her younger sister. All the other students were either white or black at the time.
There was a lot of adjusting without a lot of guidance for my mom and her sister. Her father was a very busy man, and couldn’t take much time to nurture her growing pains of being in a completely different environment surrounded by people that didn’t understand who she was.
Her mother didn’t know English and couldn’t drive, so my mom felt more like she had to support her mother rather than being supported by her mother. If you know someone like her who needs assistance in the English language, recommend reading this blog from News1 about 8 Fun Ways to Practice English at Home.
When my mom talks about her childhood, I can relate on some levels, but most of it is so foreign to me. She went through a lot of hardship, but through her experience she learned what she wanted for her children. And she made it happen.
She made sure that we were connected to our culture and our religion purposefully – always answering our questions – and she encouraged us to find our passions.
The reason I am revealing this story to you is: our parents have been through A LOT.
When we look back at our childhoods, we sometimes think they should have been better or given more, they should have hugged more, listened more, or just understood more. These feelings are totally understandable. But I want to challenge you on this: How much of your parents’ story do you really understand? What shaped them into who they are today? Can you understand their struggles?
Your relationship with your parents, whether they are alive or passed away, is crucial in telling you how you’ll be in your own relationships. This is why one of the primary areas I work with women to bring healing to is your relationships with your parents. Because if you can’t see or allow in the love from the people that created you, then what does that say about allowing in love from others?
Today’s To Do:
Find out something you didn’t know about either your mom or your dad. Ask them questions.
As you start to feel compassion for their struggles, watch and see how they have compassion for yours. This opens you up to realizing that you don’t have to take care of them, fix them, or make them understand. You don’t have to take on their burdens – you start to see that they are people just like you.
And this creates freedom for you – as you can begin to release old pressures and beliefs, your heart will burst open, and you’ll uncover your own ability to give and receive even more love.