If there is one thing I want you to get from reading my articles, this is a major one:
Men want to make you happy, especially the good ones!
When I wanted to move to the East Village in New York City, my husband made it happen.
When I dreamt of going to South of France, my husband made that happen too.
And when I wanted to pursue my dreams of being a femmeprenuer, he blessed it.
He did all these things because he knew how much I wanted them.
However, when I wanted him to be vegetarian, he wouldn’t do it when I expected him to. And nagging him and attempting to control him didn’t help. But when I stopped and explained my truth about what was really happening for me every time he ate a turkey sandwich — our future children were flashing before my eyes and I felt burdened to solely provide them with culture and religion (and we don’t even have children yet) — he started to get where I was coming from.
This is how we women think– we are constantly assessing the man to see what kind of father he will be. When I explained my truth to him about feeling burdened from a place of love, instead of from a place of control or nagging, guess what? He got on board. He is on his way to becoming a vegetarian all by himself, without me saying another word.
But before I could get him on board, I had to get completely honest with myself on what my truth was first. Because in order for a man to be able to make you happy, he has to know what makes you happy.
So guess what that means?
YOU have to know what makes you happy.
You have to know your truth.
Before you can get your man on board or even attract that man into your life, you have to know what you want and why! You need to know what you value. What do you want for yourself and your family in the future? This will give you an idea of what your values are. These values are the must-haves in your man, and the way you know it is a must-have is if one of them didn’t exist, you would be miserable in life.
One of my must-haves were that my future husband had to be Indian. Another one of mine was he needed to be family-oriented. These two things to me were extremely important. You don’t need a whole bunch — just two or three.
The power of knowing what you value is that it helps you to respect who you are, so you can ask for what you want when it comes to love.
The next step is to be very clear about what your values are… and express them. And when you can do that from a place of love, he will get on board, my friend! He will get on board because it makes you happy, and he loves making you happy!
Look at the three most important areas in your life, whether it is religion, family, or career. Get clear on what your must-haves are in a relationship and why. Take some time to get to know you and what you really value in life, so that you can begin to express that to your partner or future partner.
What do you value? What are your must-haves? Share in the comments below!