I am currently in San Francisco speaking on a panel for the mastermind group of one of my closest friends, Nisha Moodley. She is amazing at helping women live fierce, fabulous, and free (the three F’s). I am honored to speak to her women so they can create the three F’s in their relationships!
Today’s love note to you is a quickie. Don’t you just love quickies?
I consistently hear women saying “I feel bad” or “sorry.” We feel bad for things we haven’t even had a hand in.
I feel bad that my friend’s cat is sick.
I feel bad that I wasn’t able to make a second dish, even though I only promised to make one dish.
I feel bad that I was 5 minutes late.
I feel bad that I didn’t wake up early enough to make breakfast by 9:00 am.
We say “I feel bad” and “sorry” so much that we don’t even realize we are saying it. And the fact that we say it so much has an impact — a big one, actually.
When we say these phrases constantly, mentally we are berating who we are. This fills our minds with doubt and makes us feel like we aren’t doing, saying, or being enough. And that is absolutely not true.
You ARE saying enough! You ARE doing enough! You ARE being enough!
When we apologize or feel bad for things that are out of our control (e.g. hitting traffic that you didn’t expect to hit and being late, or the alarm not going off on time in the morning) what happens is we blame ourselves; we should have known better.
Sometimes this is simply not true. You cannot forecast, plan, and calculate how everything in your life is going to occur. There are just too many variables at play. I don’t want you to taking on what I call the “burden of the world.” When you take on the burden of the world, it massively impacts the way you
show up in your relationships or in attracting love.
Taking on the burden of the world makes you feel overwhelmed, tired, and depleted. That does not turn on your love light. It makes it extremely difficult when you are out socially trying to attract the kind of man you desire if your love light is off. And if you are in a relationship, this usually
presents itself by you getting upset at your man for something pretty insignificant.
This week’s Lovework:
Start with something simple. Catch how many times a day you say “I feel bad” and “sorry.” Let it sink in that everything happens for a reason and that reason is GOOD, GREAT, and GRAND.
Try saying “I feel bad” and “sorry” less. So, first notice how many times you say it, catch yourself in the middle of it, then start to reduce the number of times you say it in a day. Slowly but surely, you will start to feel more empowered by cutting those words out.
Even if the situation doesn’t feel good, great, and grand in that moment, that is OKAY. You will realize the purpose of this exercise when you look for it and give it some time to be revealed.
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