If you want to know how to draw a man in and hear from him EXACTLY the words that are in your heart, then keep reading!
I met a long time friend up at a coffee shop on Monday night. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of months and as soon I saw her smiling face, I noticed something was different about her. I gave her a huge hug and then said I can feel you have something to tell me. She looked at me and shyly replied,“What do you mean?”
Even though she attempted to deflect my advances, I KNEW something was up with her and a boy. She couldn’t believe that I was on to her. It’s my gift what can I say?!
This friend doesn’t really talk about her dating life and is so into her work that she makes little space for love. That is why I was so stoked to see some activity in that area of her life.
Recently, she went on a trip with a guy “friend” of hers. He had been a long time friend that she had been interested in once upon a time, and then he had gotten married. My friend and him had dinner together she quickly learned he was divorced, during dinner that same spark from way back hen became a flame- there was great conversation and chemistry for both of them. So, they decided to go on a trip together to France. Yes, this is how my friends roll. =)
See, this man is a fiercely independent, confident man. I tell you this because this man in no way was needy or passive.
Within the first couple of days in France, he was showing some serious interest in her. One night, he asked her to dance and he was attentive, and sexy because of how confident and in control he was in his way. They slept together that night, and she said it was amazing. She felt so taken care of. She was intrigued, but had made a commitment to herself to take it day by day and be totally present while on the trip and with him. So in her mind she was taking it slow and feeling out the situation.
By the end of the trip he was asking her where this was going and what were they going to do next. She was flabbergasted and happy at the same time. She knew they were long distance so she wasn’t sure how to approach this. His response was “I don’t even know what is going on with me, this is so not how I react. I am usually the guy that plays it cool, but I know I want to be exclusive with you.” Obviously, she was happy to hear that and was still committed to being present, and so they agreed to take it day by day.
By the time they had gotten back to NYC, he revealed that he was falling in love with her. I looked at her and said, “Do you know how many girls would be DYING over this sequence of events, where he is chasing you, and asking you what is happening next??” Then of course had to ask her, “What do you think you did to solicit this from him?
She literally said, “I just stayed present, and I had the most amazing time of my life.”
I often say this to my clients- and I get that it can be hard when feelings are boiling up and you’re not sure where things are going- but men need space to approach you. If you are taking up the space with worry and FUTURE TRIPPING (meaning thinking about what may or may not happen tomorrow
or a week, month, or year from now), then he will not have the space to approach you.
So, while you are dating, be conscious about staying present and taking it day by day. The reality is that you don’t know him and you don’t know what is around the corner. Get to know the man in front of you!
If you are in a relationship this is JUST AS important. We can FUTURE TRIP around what our kids are going to be like if our partner is a certain way, or if our partner doesn’t have his act together and on and on. Bottom LINE: stay present.
This week’s LOVEWORK:
I get that it isn’t easy to STAY PRESENT, but it is worth the effort and practice. Even if you have just a couple of moments a day where you take in where you are at, what is around you, and how you feel right then and there, that is better than not trying at all. So, this week write in on seven Post Its “STAY PRESENT”. Place them in areas where you go the most.
I promise you that your relationships will thank you for it because you are creating space in those moments to actually have exactly what you desire in your relationship and with love!
Tell me all about what keeps you staying present in your life? Leave your comments below.