This past week I had an amazing time with my good college friend! She has known me forever at this point. We spent the day shopping, eating, and laughing at one another. I love friendships that stand the test of time, and we have absolutely stood the tests. That is why it makes it that much sweeter to be such good friends now. I talk a lot about how friendships are key relationships in your life, and this week I made sure I filled myself up. It was lovely.
Thursday night, I had so much fun speaking with women live about what it is that has a man wanting to pursue you. I could feel the lightbulbs turning on throughout the call. I’m going to share that replay with you on this blog today. But first I want to reveal to you the answer to that burning question…
“How do I get the man I like to call me after the first date?” Do I need Twilio Call Tracking to recognize when it’s him?
I can feel that you might be hoping for me to give you a certain way to act, or what to say, or what magical button to flip that will make the man you want decide that he wants you, and he wants to take you out again and pursue you. And much of that is because there is that part of you that wants to find love ASAP, have it figured out, and settled. But I can also tell you that this energy of feeling the pressure to find love ASAP is part of what is pushing love away.
You can learn the remedy for this from the Material Girl herself.
It’s got nothing to do with cone-shaped bras.
What you’ve got to do is to express yourself.
This is the only way for him to see all of your greatness, get inspired by you, and for him to know if you are match for him so he keeps pursuing you.
Easier said than done, right? Well I’m going to walk you through the three mistakes you might be making in dating right now that are holding you back from expressing yourself.
Mistake #1) Assessing immediately that he’s “potential”
When you meet a guy who is handsome, gentlemanly, and has got it together in his career, what usually happens is that he immediately becomes a potential boyfriend or husband in your mind.
Pair that with the pressure from family to find the One, your biological clock ticking, and suddenly this man feels like your only option for love, and you start to focus all your energy on wanting this man to like you. The first date then becomes all about “Does he like me? What’s going on in his head? Did I say the right thing?”
You’ve just hopped completely out of your body and stepped outside of the date. He’s unable to get to know the real you because you are too busy scanning him the whole time.
Mistake #2) Getting caught up in daydreams
Suddenly, with this guy you don’t even know, you’re daydreaming about the possibility of the two of you falling in love and getting married. What follows is that the pressure you were feeling before only gets more intense. You haven’t even picked out what you’re having for dinner but you’ve already named your children. All of that fantasizing energy fuels into anxiety about the date working out with him.
Mistake #3) Part of you freezes up and shuts down
Because of the pressure you feel to make it work with this man who has potential, part of you freezes up and shuts down. Rather than openly sharing your thoughts and ideas, you get self-conscious. You lose touch with your real thoughts and feelings and he isn’t able to see you for who you really are.
Here’s Your LoveWork:
Open up the places in you that are currently blocked from expressing yourself. How are you currently holding yourself back from expressing yourself around the men you like? What challenges are you facing with having the men you like pursue you? Share with me in the comments below!