As soon as Labor Day passed, Fall has arrived here in NYC. Crazy! I love the Fall. It feels like the year is starting anew in some way.
This week is a religious week for me. Being Jain, this is our high holiday: a time for reflection, forgiveness, and going inwards. I have been fasting and reading spiritual books. One of them is Gandhi’s Life In His Own Words. Although this book is short, it hits you with truth bomb after truth bomb. One particular truth bomb hit me so hard I had to feverishly write down this blogpost for you.
What you are about to read strays from my usual posts, but it’s something I knew I had to write to you. Gandhi’s words changed the way I see Freedom and hence love.
Here’s my realization:
Freedom is what we all want. Freedom stands for happiness and bliss. Yet true Freedom comes from no longer relying on anything to fulfill you but yourself. I know that is a tall, tall order.
Most people, myself included, feel freedom comes through having the physical and emotional ability to experience what we want, like the freedom to live wherever I want, work on my own schedule, and travel whenever I want to.
I would challenge that idea because no matter how free you are to fly around the world, you still won’t feel totally free because you’ll be trapped by other desires that come up after that.
Now I am all for allowing and indulging desires, as long as they honor the divine within us. When our desires honor the divine in us, they become the gateway to true Freedom. (Tweet it.)
Here’s an example, which I experienced during my fast:
I am bound by sugar. It is a desire that traps me after every meal in order to feel satisfied and yet often still leaves me unsatisfied.
True freedom is to be satisfied whether I have sugar or not. True freedom comes from aligning to my even DEEPER desire. In the case of wanting sugar, this deeper desire is to honor my divine vessel (my body) through good health.
The deeper desires we all have are for freedom, happiness, and bliss. Sometimes, we cure it in the moment with chocolate, high heels. Or, we think finding a man will cure it.
Those things of course are enjoyable pleasures. This is about recognizing there is so much more underneath. If you are relying on the chocolate, heels, or the man to fix everything, it won’t happen.
Sooner or later in a relationship, the pleasures of having someone to spend time with, snuggle with, or go to dinner with will wear off. It’s important for you now – whether you are in a relationship or not – to get clear on what your deeper desire and higher purpose is for having a relationship.
Most of us spend all our energy thinking about what we want the man to be without getting clear on the role our relationship will play in the world. When you can articulate what you want your partnership to fulfill in the world, it makes you much more clear on what you are looking for — so you can attract it.
Here is your LoveWork:
Tell me what the higher purpose is for the relationship you desire.
It could be:
Together, you are serving your community, or the world.
Together, you are challenging one another to become better people, and to grow spiritually.
Together, you are creating a family and continuing your ancestor’s lineage.
What do you want your partnership to stand for in the world?
Tell me your comments below!
P.S. I loved hearing from so many of you on the blog last week. Stop on by today and share with me your LoveWork for this week!