I am currently writing to you from 30,000 feet up, on my way to the Dominican Republic for some downtime, rest, relaxation, and a whole lot of FUN. We all need more fun in our lives and the harder you work, the bigger doses of fun you need. Remember that!
Tuesday of this week, my dad ran for Councilman for our local town of Blue Ash in Cincinnati, where I was born and raised. He was up against 2 opponents that have been re-elected for the last 2 terms. (I also have to mention that he is one of the first Indians to even get involved in our local government!) So even though the odds were stacked against him, my dad decided that he wanted to run and his desire to give back to the community in a bigger way lit a fire inside of him.
At the age of 68 he went door to door to every single persons house in our town over the last two and a half months. He went door to door connecting and talking to people, asking them about their concerns, problems, and fears, and told them what he stood for and how he could help them.
Most people that met him immediately took to him and his presence. He got amazing feedback. Members of the community told him, “We need someone like you in charge. You have fresh new ideas that are grounded in really thinking about what people need and want.”
I went home to help him on Election Day, and the amount of commitment my father showed, not only that day but over the last several months, was truly inspiring. As I write this I have tears in my eyes thinking of it. (One thing you need to know about me is that I’m a big crier!)
I worked the voting stations along with Hemal and my brother on Tuesday. As we gave out flyers and talked to people about why they should vote for my dad, many said they had met him and had already decided to vote for him. The sentiments were overwhelming – they were rooting for my dad and genuinely wanted him to win.
After the polls closed at 7:30 we waited patiently for the results. Around 10pm we found out that my dad had lost – just 300 votes behind his opponent.
It was upsetting but somehow it still felt like a win. Not only was the entire day momentous for us as a family for many reasons, but that day I saw people really get behind my dad and take time out of their busy schedules to go vote for him. They even brought their entire families out to vote and his friends came out to support him. It was amazing to witness!
I asked my dad how he felt after he lost. He said, “Well I gave it a go, and you can’t lose anything unless you tried to win.”
That hit me, and I had to write to you today because so many of us are guarded and protecting ourselves from hurt and disappointment in life – but particularly in love. I wanted you to know that you are going for extraordinary love, and sometimes in pursuit of that there is hurt and pain that occurs along the way.
Sometimes we think because we haven’t found “the one” yet that we are doing something wrong, or that there is something wrong with us. Or you vowed to yourself you would never put yourself in the same position you did with the last man that broke your heart. And I get it. I was totally protecting myself too after Hemal and I broke up. I was even protecting myself after we got married, which led to me practically losing him again.
But you are after BIG love. You want:
A man that is on a mission to achieve awesome things in his life
A man that is totally supportive of you going after your dreams
A man that stands up for you in moments you can’t
To be a couple that is more powerful together than apart
It requires BIG risk!
It requires seeing a man that has peaked your interest from across the room, one who knows it is his privilege to get to know you.
It requires getting vulnerable enough to ask for what you want, whether that is a drink, a first date, or a kiss.
It requires loving yourself enough to know when someone isn’t giving you what you deserve, and that there are plenty of eligible, amazing men out there.
It requires getting rejected, sometimes many times, and being clear that he wasn’t right.
If you want BIG love, you have to sometimes be willing to lose to win. And when you allow yourself to know that this is what you are doing, maybe sometimes without even knowing it, something changes you and the kind of men you attract in.
What I mean here is that when you start acknowledging that your “failures” in love are only getting you closer to the relationship you want, you start attracting in men that are more and more ready too.
Regardless of my dad losing, he changed people’s lives by listening to what they wanted and by giving them options and new opportunity through just meeting with them even for 5 minutes.
The same goes for love – nothing goes in vain. NOTHING. You get so, so much out of every experience. (Tweet This)
This week’s Lovework is to tell me how you can appreciate yourself for putting yourself out there in love. Have you:
Gone on a date that was less than stellar, but that helped you get clear on something you don’t want in a man that will help you next time?
Told a man how you felt, even if you were terrified, which is helping to release that fear and make space for love?
Talked to you parents or siblings about some fears that are coming up for you? (yes this counts!)
I want to hear the ways in the comments below. If you really check in with yourself, I guarantee there are tons!