What to say to your ex if you still want to be with him [my 1st ever video coaching blog!]

This week I totally got out of my comfort zone, and I feel a little bit vulnerable even sending this week’s (video!) blog out to you.

On Monday I got an email from a reader named Amy who wanted some advice about her ex boyfriend and what she should do about this gut feeling she was having that they were meant to be together.

They’ve been apart for over a year and have both been seeing other people, but there was something she couldn’t shake.

At first I was going to just respond to her via e-mail, but I took a chance on seeing if she would be up for doing a skype call because I knew that so many other women could benefit from hearing our conversation.

So this week, you’re getting an EXCLUSIVE, raw look into the way I work and how I help women like Amy understand how to get clear about their ex in less than 20 minutes.

Click on the video below to learn:

  • The 4 things you need to say to your ex are still feeling pulled towards him, so you can get the answers you are seeking.

  • The root to what could stop Amy from really making it work with her Ex or any man in the future (which applies to almost every woman I’ve worked with – and was the root to what was going on for me in my own relationship)

Amy was so incredibly self-aware and willing to take the advice I had given her. She got right into action. That is what I like to see!

Check out the email she sent me less than 5 hours after we spoke:

You will have to block out some time in your busy schedule to watch this video.

I promise it is so worth it.

Although I am talking to Amy, the questions I ask her during the call are the same questions you can ask yourself to get some answers.

I also pull out the teachings you need to hear about the approach I am telling her to take.

Your only Lovework for this week is to just tell me in the comments below, if you would like to see more videos like this! I am always up for providing the content that will get you the answers you are looking for – so let me know if this feels beneficial for you!

In Love,


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  • Jo

    Such intuitive coaching, Kavita! I am a fixer too and some of the suggestions you gave Amy are really useful to me 🙂 Thank you

  • Angela

    I LOVED this video and I know too well about push/pull of relating as well as interferences and a man wanting to show up as HE wants the relationship.
    I am a young grandmother of 3 and when the twins were born, it took only 2 months to express lack of desire to continue “relating” with my longterm partner of 10 yrs as we did. Since first 5 was real and with loving care for a future, next 5 was when he moved away to care for son (ex created manipulative situation through kids) and family supported this. I was to be the woman he “enjoyed”. So where was honour of before? I stood up, left the setup, did “coaching” with sister to show her I did have dignity and won’t conform to what I feel is unloving to both me and the brother and a future. What is worst is that his job is in jeopardy and his ego status is on verge of failure, he blamed me before for leaving, but I said he had choices how to make life better…I told sister that brother’s estranged wife was not to be put down since She made me aware of indescretions and I want dignity with my family, esp after losing my mom after a year. I said I won’t settle to be put at place that others think I should be to keep status…willing to drop that to get to better understanding and peacefulness and even better loved. At present, I feel honour as well peace Esp after sister said I layed Boundaries, said my wishes,and wish that he’d figure out what to do with himself- homes and work since ex has to give up home to kids since they turned 18 yrs. Basically I was saying that the break is good for both of us to work out a calmer setting for a decision. And that I leave him to choose path without pushing, but am there for a good direction. To rid of unfinished work. She expressed that I have a Pure heart and loved him and kids to have them in my home in the first place….and that she had like it when she saw us together…So I agree what you said about being “involved is complication to future path and break creates growth and understanding and even directive love. How do you see this progress? I feel Amy’s return to living together failed because she returned to same former path without decision for more from him towards her. So if there is to be a return, he must decide all the way. All the best to her, and hope you do many more videos. I enjoyed this much.

  • Ghalia

    I am completely in love with my ex and am sure he is in love with me too
    We only broke up because being together is considered as a mistake in our middle eastern society
    I cant move on and want him back big time
    Dont know what to do
    And i feel so desperate
    I dont wanna date again nor even fall in love
    Please tell me what to do

  • Jennifer Ayoub

    Kavita, I think many women including myself would appreciate as nd want these videos. It’s a great idea.

  • Anne

    I agree, I feel these videos would benefit many others including me. I am curious how to deal with the the parent relationships. Both my parents have passed and my father was the soul parent. He and my mother broke apart when I was 3 yrs old and I have never seen her since. He re-married twice after that. I do see myself following his foot steps because I have been married 3 times myself. I am currently a widow and dating. I find it even more difficult to date and/or find available men as I get older. Thoughts on this?

  • Missy

    This couldn’t have come to me at a more perfect time. Although my situation is totally different, I feel like I can relate to this situation. Thank you for sharing your reasons on why break ups are a good thing and how to go about possibly getting back with an ex. I’m so interested in working with you!

  • Mavis


    Thank you for taking the chance on being vulnerable! This was a great session, and I hope you are encouraged to do more.

    Peace and blessings,

  • D

    Wow! Kavita, that was amazing! More, please 🙂

  • Linda

    I just watched two of the Videos I really enjoyed them. I can relate to Amy as I was in a marriage for 20 years to a man who I felt was sent to me from God. From the start our relationship was not perfect but I felt a deep deep love for him. We have been separated, pending divorce for over two years now and I really feel stuck. The relationship was not healthy emotionally for me as he was closed off with expressing his feeling. It caused a lot of the Zion because I am a “fixer” and feel like If I can make myself better,not push any buttons things would get better but they did not. He is now dating someone else and I would like to move on as well. It’s hard when you have loved someone for so long but did not feel the love in return. Thank you for giving us hope.

  • willow

    Kavita, this post is so very helpful and has served as a catalyst for me to do the talk with someone i dated for a while. Thank you for your work and scripts, especially the 9/30 post! that unearthed a lot of emotions – it is amazing how our past influences what happens in our intimate relationships.
    thank you thank you! w

  • alicia

    This was great! More of these would be awesome!! Both Sofia and Amy had parents who were together do you have any interviews where you look at effect of divorced parents?