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Envelope and love letter

A script for how to tell a man you like him

This week is a holy week for me. I am Jain and for those of you that are new to me, the Jain dharma is more of a philosophy than a religion. It is a way of life. The biggest value for a Jain is non-violence. In fact, one of Gandhi’s major influences was a Jain monk.

This holy week in particular is all about asking for forgiveness. To be aware of yourself and how you impact others and to ask for forgiveness if you have hurt anyone in your life through words, thought, or action. We say “Micchami Dukkadam”, which means exactly that.

So today I would like to say this to you.

If there has been anything that I have said through this forum that has negatively impacted you in any way, I ask for your forgiveness, Micchami Dukkadam.

For the last 8 days I have been fasting, meditating, and learning.  A big motivator for me is to really experience and realize what LOVE is from the inside out.

This, I know, is a lifelong journey and it is a mission I have accepted to take on not only to benefit myself but to help whomever I can.

I had a profound moment this week that I had to share with you.

I have been reading a world renowned philosopher named Osho’s work. The Sunday Times of London named him one of the ‘1,000 Makers of the Twentieth Century,’ and novelist Tom Robbins called him ‘the most dangerous man since Jesus Christ.’

There was a piece of his book that I thought was brilliant and something I really believe in around having men “chase” women.

As women we have been told by society or people that having the man chase us is the way to go. That him pursuing us is necessary for him to fall in love with or really commit to us.

Now if you have been following me for a while you know, I don’t agree with this. I don’t believe in us as women having to wait around for him to “chase” us.

And I don’t think up until now I have had the best explanation for why I felt this way.

Until I read what Osho says about this topic. Here it is in summary:

“You enjoy him chasing you. Every woman enjoys that, and you are not aware of the deeper implications. It means you are the prey; the man is the hunter and he is chasing game. You are allowing supremacy to the man, unknowingly.

You have been told that initiative in love should be taken by men, not by women; it is against a woman’s grace.

But why?

Why would you want to be number two from the very beginning? If you love or like a man, why wait? I know many women who have waited for years because they wanted the man to take the initiative. But often they have fallen in love with a man who will not take initiative.

There is really no reason for a woman to wait for the man. If a woman feels love for someone, she should take the initiative and be easy with herself if he doesn’t feel the same way. This will give women equality.

Love is a clean affair. You love someone, you express your love.” {Tweet This}

I know you, like me, want women to have equality. So by not letting a man (or anyone) in on  how much you like them because you are waiting for them to say it first is only reinforcing this inequality.

I believe in empowerment and I want people (both men and women) to feel like they are the creators of their life.

Osho put it into words what I wish I could have to explain why I feel so strongly about women not waiting on a man to make the first move.

I know it’s scary and it takes courage for us to reveal that we like or love someone (romantically), but it is so important for you and the other person to hear it.

In fact, why wouldn’t one want to know that they are liked and appreciated by another person?

That is flattering. It is beautiful.

So, this week my Lovework for you is a challenge to let the man you have a crush on know that you have a crush on him. Or if you have liked a man from afar, let him in on that.

Here is a quick script for how to tell a man you like him:

“Hi <name>. This is scary for me to say, because I am getting pretty vulnerable with you right now, and I wanted you to know that I think you are an amazing <you can place in any word here> man. I feel a connection with you that I don’t feel with most people. I wanted to tell you that I like you, and I would like to get to know you more. Is this something you have felt too?”

To quickly break down the script for you, the reason I start with your fear is because when you can voice a fear it starts to dissolve.

Then you appreciate him, and tell him how you feel.

Then ask a question at the end so he knows what he is responding to and you can get an answer.

It takes courage, I know. I also know you can do it!

Get clarity so you can make space for a man that is right for you. Or maybe the one you reveal your feelings too is the right one.

All I ask is don’t wait. If you’re afraid, tell me below in the comments what is coming up for you.

And then take initiative.

You are WORTH it.

In Love,
Kavita

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