How to let him know you’re not interested (without hurting his feelings)

It is natural when dating and meeting men to meet men that just don’t do it for you. You have that knowingness that he isn’t the one for you, or maybe there’s no physical attraction.

It’s part of the journey, but sometimes we stick around longer than we want to because we’re afraid of hurting him. So, we either keep the communication going because we don’t know what to say or we start to ignore his texts and emails (yes that is still keeping things going). Either way it doesn’t feel good.

Don’t you wish you could just be honest and tell him exactly how you feel, without walking away feeling totally guilty? Especially if he’s a good guy.

It doesn’t have to be completely awkward or uncomfortable.

In this episode of KavitaTV I’m answering a question from a viewer who was dating a super sweet man but there was no physical chemistry. After giving it some time, she knew in her gut he just wasn’t the guy.

Take a peek to see what I suggested she say to him to authentically end their connection. You can use this exact same script in the future or right now for yourself with a man you aren’t feeling it with.

After you watch, scroll down to the comments and let me know how you’ve handled conversations like this before.

Have you ever said, “It’s not you, it’s me” to a man you weren’t into because you felt stuck and just didn’t want to hurt him or didn’t know what else to say? I want to hear the details.

In Love,


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  • Pat

    Thanks for this video. Your timing is perfect & I will implement your suggestions. I have met someone else who I do have chemistry with & did not want to hurt the one that there is no chemistry, but is a really nice guy.

    • Kavita

      Great Pat! Happy to help!

  • BA Moore

    I am guilty of the generic break ups. I am greatly thankful for this lesson. I can use it in the future. I am not currently dating, but learning how to use a more honest approach will be better for me and the person I may have to use it on. I would appreciate getting an honest response like this if someone were to break up with me. Not only is it honest, it’s also a more positive way to look at things even though there will be some hurt. Thanks

    • Kavita

      That’s beautiful BA!

  • RexSan5

    Your timing could not have been better. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell this very nice man that it is just not going to work. Your advice will help me get it right this time. I already told him once that I was not ready for the type of serious relationship that he was looking for. We agreed to be friends and still get together, but I feel like he is just waiting for me to ‘be ready’. That is never going to happen. That physical connection is missing and he’s a person who prides himself on being very helpful and supportive while I am fiercely independent. I will never need him the way he wants me to.

    • Kavita

      Now you have the perfect way to tell him. Thanks for sharing Rex!

  • Christina Posavec

    interesting.. I too have issues with feeling taken for granted or as I call it ” not a potted plant”. I actually saw my homeopathic doctor today to help release these blockages with net. I felt the same way as Anna except I have children of my own. I have issues with my childrens soon to be step mom. I feel I am not ready to love again till I deal with these issues

    • Kavita

      Thanks for reaching out and getting vulnerable, Christina.