When you don’t feel good enough for the man you want

When you see a man you like…a man you might even feel is “out of your league” – does your mind start to list out all the ways you aren’t good enough?

Oh, I’m not pretty enough for him.

I’m too old – he’ll think I’m desperate.

He wouldn’t be interested in a woman like me.

And THEN you think, “That’s okay, he’s probably not available anyway. He’s probably married or has a girlfriend. I’m fine being single.”

It’s interesting how easy it is to desire a relationship and then- when it’s right in front of you – talk yourself out of it because you’re scared.

My guest on this week’s KavitaTV episode, Dawne, would respond to men this way too.

If you’ve struggled with jumping between wanting a relationship and also convincing yourself you don’t need a man in your life – really pay attention to our conversation. Especially around the 9:00 minute mark.

I help Dawne get clear on why she keeps finding reasons it wouldn’t work out with men she likes, and exactly what she has to do to stop the pattern for good.

It’s a change you can make for yourself as well. Just ask yourself the same questions you see me ask Dawne.

Watch this week’s episode of KavitaTV & start letting the right men into your life.

After you’re done, let me know in the comments if you’ve ever seen a man you liked and immediately talked yourself out of it. What were your thoughts?

In Love,


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  • Marie

    Very powerful story ! Love it ! Thank you for sharing.
    I resonate with the “double dose from parents”. I was in relationships with men who were unavailable like my father and needy/overwhelmed/pushing my needs away like my mother.
    I felt like being the burden to her. In order to avoid it and to help her out, I took care for her needs. After all my overgiving,supporting my exes, leaving them was like a big burden fell down of my shoulders).

    I like the idea that it was not about my mother not being overwhelmed because of who I am , but that she was overwhelmed by “the hard life situation” and the way she is (I believe she is partially narcisstic due to her harsh upbringing and has less capacity to handle emotions of others, care for others, unless she has great support around her vs I am an empath, on the other spectrum and I needed lots of attention as a child).
    I know that my mother would have decided not to have a child (me) today (there was request for interruption) in the same conditions -not with my father, much later, in better conditions.

    I have hard time to find peace around this, I consol myself that “decent conditions” were what my mother needed to secure some care for me (also through other people, even if they needed to be hired, to give me what she was not able to do emotionally=her way of loving me, her excuse to me.

    I feel that there is something that resonates with me …like not having a man around me that is like a child I must care for, to let fall down the “obligation” ?

  • Liz

    I completely understand the double dose from parents & the feeling “I don’t need you.” over the last couple years I’ve really tried to understand where my mom was coming from & why she did what she did which had really helped. Almost 2 years ago I found a great man& was totally myself. But in the last 6 months he hasn’t been there for me – sometimes for good reason (eg: my dad died & good funeral was the day of his daughters college graduation). But I feel myself going back to the “I don’t need you” & I can feel it affecting the relationship 🙁

    • Kavita J Patel

      Hi Liz! Thank you for your response. Sometimes we do revert back to our old blocks. Are you still with this man? If so, I want you to start letting him do little things for you or ask him to do small things for you. This will start to let you see and feel that it is good to need someone. Let me know what you can ask for him to do for you that you need.

      • Liz

        I’ve thought about this the last day & it is actually harder than I thought it’d be. But today I asked him to follow me to the mechanic & drop off my car then take me to the office (our office buildings are next door to each other). I offered to buy him lunch because I felt guilty.

        • Kavita J Patel

          That is awesome! Thank you for sharing!