Something I am learning about myself right now is how afraid I am of making mistakes.
Recently I discovered that I have been stuck in fear and holding back from taking an absolute stand for what I know it takes to guarantee extraordinary love in our lives – healing our relationship with our parents (whether they are alive or not).
Even though I talk about this parent work all the time, and I’m able to prove it to someone in 5 minutes or less AND I see the massive transformation my clients experience on a daily basis – I still was holding back.
Somehow there was something about publicly claiming this truth that terrified me. What if people disagreed with me? What if I was rejected and not liked?
Even though I know logically that it’s okay to take stand for something and I know my fear stems from an irrational part of me, it still feels very real!
So how does this relate to love?
We received a lot of messaging from our parents and society that there is a “right” path and a “wrong” path in life, and if we take the wrong one – it will be a mistake.
We’re taught that making mistakes should be avoided at all cost because we’ll feel pain and be hurt.
Truth is making mistakes is a part of life. In fact it is an essential part of life!
Without making epic mistakes we aren’t really living, and without mistakes, we never really know what success and extraordinary love looks, tastes and feels like.
When we relax into being OK making mistakes, we discover that making mistakes is actually bringing us closer to what we want. Doesn’t that feel good to hear?
It takes the pressure off and we just get to be ourselves – and maybe even have a little fun in the process!
The truth is the fear of doing it “wrong” is what’s keeping us stuck in love.
It is easy for me to sit here and say, okay you have permission to make lots of mistakes in love, take some risks, and you may even feel inspired for a couple of days to do that.
However, I am interested in what’s going to help you keep doing that.
When you like a guy, what’s going to support you in taking a risk and telling him you like him?
What’s going to support you in being okay with feeling the hurt or rejection that could come along with putting yourself out there?
What’s going to support you in taking the leap of faith to say “I love you” or even “I like you”?
What’s going to support you in sharing your deepest darkest feelings and truths with a man, whether he is the one or not?
What’s going to support you being curious about a man you like so you can get to know him and connect with him, rather than assuming you know who he is and what he’s about.
What’s going to support you in asking a guy online if he would like to get on the phone and see if there is a connection – and asking from a space of pure possibility?
What’s going to support you in simply saying “Hello, how’s your day going?” with a guy that intrigues you?
What’s going to support you in smiling at a man, to let him know you’re interested?
What’s going to support you in feeling you are deserving of love, so when you are in front of a man that seems “out of your league” you engage naturally and wholeheartedly?
What’s going to support you in listening to that knowingness that someone is right for you or wrong for you, and take the steps to either commit to that person or let him go?
Everything I teach through my own experiences (not just from a textbook) is to help support you in closing the gap between your fears and desires, so you can have what you want in your life, in abundance.
And today I want to remind you that mistakes are really really good.
Make more of them, and you will see your strength, you will see your resilience, you will see so much about what you are capable of, including having and deserving extraordinary love.
As I write this to you, I write this for myself too.
This week’s Lovework is what do you plan to take a risk on, or be willing to make a mistake doing? Declare it and then let me know in the comments below, so I know I’m not alone:)