Have you ever met a man that has amazing presence, he’s hot inside and out and there is just something irresistible about him that draws you in?
He asks the right questions, says all the right things, and you feel completely met, heard, and seen by him.
The connection is out of this world, and it feels like he’s completely on the same page as you. You even start to talk about “the future”. You share your desires with each other and it seems as if he is right there with you. He treats you like no one else has ever before
He’s emotionally open to you and you feel safe to be open back – and the connection feels so rare and so very special.
Sounds perfect right?
Well – if you have felt that with someone in the past and it didn’t work out and you’re wondering why OR you are currently in a situation like this but things are starting to feel less than perfect as each day goes by – then you have to keep reading.
During this whirlwind experience of passion and connection – you may believe that the connection is so rare that you’ll never have something like it again.
That thought keeps you holding onto someone who may not want the same things as you and yet you find yourself convincing yourself that the connection is real.
When it feels real in your mind but reality is showing you something different it’s because you are unknowingly trying to fill, what I like to call, an emotional love void.
This love void originated from certain experiences you had as a child with your parents.
You might be wondering what does this have to do with my parents?
Your parents are your first role models, whether good or bad, on how you saw and experienced love with and between them. These experiences are stored in the subconscious and has you believing and acting in certain ways without knowing it.
For example when you were little, this emotional love void might have come from….
You didn’t feel an emotional connection with your Dad. He was distant with you.
You didn’t feel like either of your parents showed you love through words and affection.
You felt like your mom was a perfectionist and expected you to be one too.
You felt like your mom wasn’t very emotional and so you shut down your emotions too.
Because of these experiences long ago, as a child you made certain decisions around what you needed and wanted when it came to love and since it felt like your parents were not capable of filling your emotional needs – you learned to live without it.
Then comes along that rare and special man that is emotionally open and ready to give to you in ways you never knew were possible. You are taken aback and feel fed for the first time in your life.
It’s like being lost in the desert for days without water and then you’re handed that first glass of water that not only quenches your thirst but has you experience a kind pleasure that is unexplainable.
That’s how that rare man feels for you. He fulfills you in ways you haven’t experienced in so long that you misinterpret it to mean that he’s the one, or someone rare, or someone you would really love to be with.
Meanwhile you are more “in love” or “in like” with the idea of him rather than who he really is.
So, it’s about filling this emotional love void in ways other than just through a romantic relationship, so that you can really assess if the man you like is right for you.
How do you this? Well, it’s about getting to the source.
This emotional love void is best filled up when you fill it from the place it originated with your parents.
This is where it can get complicated, and I have built out an entire course called Soul Level Love that has you dive deeper into how to fill this part of you up.
But the first step is to know you were conceived out of love, and that no matter what you have been through with your parents, they truly love you. From being abused to being the golden beloved child.
There isn’t a parent out there that doesn’t love their children. The issues start when our parents have specific ideas around what will really make us happy, or if they haven’t dealt with their own childhood trauma and it’s coming out all over you.
Truth is, just like you, they have been through alot in their life and starting to get that no matter what they have said or not said, done or not done, they love you dearly.
All the diapers they have changed, fed you, burped you, taking you to the doctor because they were worried sick that you weren’t well, staying up in the middle of the night, making you breakfast, lunch or dinner, making sure you wear your sweater when it is cold – means something. If they really didn’t care or love you… you wouldn’t still exist. You wouldn’t of survived.
If you are thinking right now “Well I already know my parents love me”, then this is a chance to dig deeper and ask if there is another voice or another part of you that questions if their love is unconditional.
If you are feeling resistance in even thinking about how much they love you – simply say to yourself, “What if I allowed myself to believe this is true for just a second”, what feeling comes over you? Do you feel lighter, expansive, more filled up? Or do you feel nothing?
Try this, as your Lovework, see what comes up for you as you dig deeper. Let me know what you feel and think in the comments below.