Two weeks ago I sent you an email about how the mother of one of my closest friends was dying of cancer. And how, in the last couple of months I guided my friend to ask her Mom questions about their relationship, so that my friend could allow her Mom’s love in to heal the pain she felt when she was a little girl. If you don’t remember or missed it you can read it HERE.
Well, after that email went out, I got this reply from a reader. Her name is Taylor.
“I really liked this story, however, I think it’s limited in perspective.
I loved that Taylor wrote me this honest message, because this is a question that I get all the time. It’s normal to have tried having a conversation like this with your parents (or those that raised you), and to walk away feeling like your parents just don’t “get it”.
I talk about these parent conversations a lot in my emails because I believe it is one of the fastest ways to shift our blocks to receiving love, reclaim our self worth, and create deeply fulfilling and connected partnerships.
In fact, I’ve spent the last 10 years mastering how to have these parent conversations within my own life and in the lives of hundreds of others. Just in Soul Level Love alone we’ve had over 300 women go through the course and get incredible results with releasing these love blocks. After years of being stuck. That’s not including the hundred plus women I have worked with privately.
I have faced every kind of parent situation you can think of. From parents that are sick (everything from having suffered a stroke to cancer)…parents that barely expressed their emotions…parents that have a lot of their own trauma from their childhood…parents that you’ve barely spoken to for years…parents that have been abusive, volatile and feel unstable…parents who are no longer here…and more.
The beauty of what I teach. Is that your parents don’t have to “get it.”
This is where most people get stuck in this process.
Expecting that your parents will “get it” is the exact reason why 90% of the conversations people are trying to have with their parents won’t leave them feeling seen or heard by their parents, let alone help them to release unknown blocks from within.
Because without even knowing it (it’s a sneaky one) you’re still coming from the energy of, “I wish they would change or be different.” in these conversations. And with that energy you will only have your parents get defensive, versus getting what we need to understand and heal ourselves.
So, what the key?
Well one big key is to start focusing on understanding them first.
And what I mean by understanding them is: knowing why they are the way they are.
Maybe you’ve asked your parents questions in the past and their responses have been something like “I did it for the kids” or “I needed to be there for your Dad” or “It’s just how it was back then”?
The problem with those kinds of responses is that it doesn’t give you any insight into what makes them who they are. So, the real juice is in digging deeper with them to understand the inner workings of how they felt and finding out how their childhood and relationship with their parents impacted who they are today and what they believe.
Few of us ever really learn who our parents truly are. We know the stories, but we don’t understand how our parents translated the meaning of these situations in their lives, and how that is now guiding them in the way they think about their life and how they relate to you.
It’s all about staying curious and asking until you hear a piece of information that you’ve never heard before or hear in a different way. A piece of information that hits your heart, where without thinking you just feel a level of compassion you didn’t before. And from the compassion you think, “I get it. If I had to go through what my Mom/Dad went through I would be exactly like him/her.”
From that thought our perspective of our parents completely changes. And that’s the beginning of releasing our own subconscious beliefs and healing our wounds, so that their is space for true love.
Because it’s not really about our parents “getting us.” It’s about us getting our parents, so that we can understand ourselves and somewhere in that process we also feel gotten by them.
Getting what we need from our relationships, including the one with our parents, is an art form. Today I have revealed one piece of this beautiful puzzle, but that’s why I teach a whole course on how to release your love blocks. And it isn’t something you’re just supposed to know. It is something that is learned and practiced.
Now, tell me below what kinds of conversations you’ve tried to have with your parents or those that raised you and what was your intention in having those conversations for you life?
Can’t wait to read your responses!