You’re allowed to fall in love as many times as you want

My friend looked at me and asked, “Is it okay that I’m falling in love with him?”

She was looking for permission to dive into a feeling that is so exhilarating and intoxicating. She was also terrified, giving herself permission to fall in love meant venturing into the unknown, and that can feel unsafe.

I said, “Yes!”

She said, “But what’s going to happen in the end?”

I said, “We die, so you might as well enjoy the ride.”

She and I both laughed.

I know it seems a little extreme to say “we die,” but I was being totally serious. I told her, “You get this lifetime to feel alive, really live, so why not? You have taken this human form, so rare, so precious, so beautiful, use this life to the fullest.”

You’re allowed to fall in love as many times as you want, whether it does or doesn’t work out in the end. It doesn’t matter if you spend a lifetime or just several days with the person.

To allow yourself to fall in love, to be so excited about someone that you feel lit up from within, is a blessing. Such a powerful expression.

But then, we want to take that blessing and capture it in a bottle. As soon as we do, it dies; the joy gets taken away.

It’s like watching a gorgeous butterfly gracefully flying through the air. Even watching it brings joy. The colors, the floating, the beauty, and then you try to put the butterfly in a jar, and what happens?

Once you get fixated on capturing the butterfly, the feeling and excitement falls away.

If you were to ask most people for advice on this topic, they would say out of love, but misguided in my opinion, “Be careful you don’t want to fall for someone that isn’t going to be there for you” or “You don’t want to get hurt.”

As much as this person loves you, it isn’t good guidance. It’s advice from a place of self protection and in that state, love can’t thrive.

Truth be told, most people are trying to protect themselves so they give you advice from that same space within them. Most of us aren’t walking around with open hearts.

And it’s not our faults, it’s conditioning. But we have a choice. It’s time to rise above that conditioning and lead with love. In fact, I feel the world right now is in such a state of self protection, that you can see love getting lost. The trust and safety is fading away.

But when we take what seems like one small act — a choice to love, a choice to fall in love — regardless of who it is and the outcome, what a way to live.

A couple minutes later as I reflected more on her question, I turned to her and said, “You know, we can even fall in love with friends.” She said, “What do you mean?”

I said, “The beginning of a friendship where you feel excited that you met someone cool, interesting, someone that gets you, that’s falling in love.

When you form a partnership in business, and it feels aligned, you’re on the same page, and you’re excited to collaborate and build something special together, that’s falling in love.

We don’t know if the friendship will last a lifetime, or if the partnership will sustain decades, but to combine energies and venture into the unknown, knowing that you’re safe no matter what, that’s a beautiful experience.”

Now, the question I ask myself, and you, is how fun would life be, how alive would we feel, if we allowed ourselves to fall in love more, without any fear or trying to control how hurt or painful it might be in the end?

Let me know what you think in the comments below. I love hearing from you!

In Love,


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  • miami pammie

    This came today, such appropriate timing. My heart is broken as I try to let go of a romantic relationship at this time. I understand the freeing concept of love as you describe it above but I feel a tremendous attachment that’s hard to clip. I could see a future, I hoped for a future, with this man. So much in his world became complicated that there seemed no room for me. Yet, he’s been with other women since I first dated him. We’ve remained friendly. I feel I connected deeply. I feel deeply with all my relationships. It’s kinda getting painful instead of joyful. I attatch quickly get disappointed when things dont work out. I know better. I don’t bounce back very well. Why do I feel so attached? And why is it hard to cut the tether of deep emotional love and just appreciated it for what it is? I know this particular relationship was a kismet connection. Aren’t they all? I can’t seem to get it right.

  • Beth Gates

    This is amazing timing. A friend that I developed feelings for may move to the city I live in. He’s also asked me to travel to Paris with him; something I’ve always wanted. He’s going through a lot of big changes in his life right now (break-up, job loss, uprooting his life). The logical side of me says he’s got too much swirling around him. Don’t get involved and keep my distance while the feeling side says just go with it; no matter what may come.

  • Dewi Maile Lim

    Aloha Kavita and Soul Level Lovers. I met my Beloved recently and although I’ve felt the most seen, Loved, heard and supported by this man – I call him my Ultimate Man – a part of me was still holding back from surrendering completely and entirely into his arms. Reading this post is encouraging me to allow mySelf to dissolve and release any lingering low-level energy I’ve kept around as a way of protecting my heart. I know that nothing is ever lost from Loving and that no matter what happens or could happen in the future I choose to Love this God-sent man without abandon now and with the utmost a gratitude for the Gift we are. Thanks for the encouragement!

  • KXOXO34

    It seems easy for others to fall in love, open up to love like a book, find love, and talk about love as if it was this magical thing. Falling in love again won’t happen again for me. I rather fall in love with other things then actual loving a man again.

  • Liz

    such a great topic! I found the greatest guy & love him like I’ve never loved anyone & am more open & vulnerable than ever before but I find myself trying to “bottle it up” to keep it & it seems to do more harm than his. when issues come up I need to remind myself what would I do/say if it was just a good friend because if I’d do it for my BFF I should do it for my partner. why is it so much easier to be supportive or understand my girlfriends but so difficult when it comes to my bf?

  • phyllis garay

    after reading this post; I feel like I don’t completely surrender myself; I’m an adventurous person, I love travelling, I travel all over the