My friend looked at me and asked, “Is it okay that I’m falling in love with him?”
She was looking for permission to dive into a feeling that is so exhilarating and intoxicating. She was also terrified, giving herself permission to fall in love meant venturing into the unknown, and that can feel unsafe.
I said, “Yes!”
She said, “But what’s going to happen in the end?”
I said, “We die, so you might as well enjoy the ride.”
She and I both laughed.
I know it seems a little extreme to say “we die,” but I was being totally serious. I told her, “You get this lifetime to feel alive, really live, so why not? You have taken this human form, so rare, so precious, so beautiful, use this life to the fullest.”
You’re allowed to fall in love as many times as you want, whether it does or doesn’t work out in the end. It doesn’t matter if you spend a lifetime or just several days with the person.
To allow yourself to fall in love, to be so excited about someone that you feel lit up from within, is a blessing. Such a powerful expression.
But then, we want to take that blessing and capture it in a bottle. As soon as we do, it dies; the joy gets taken away.
It’s like watching a gorgeous butterfly gracefully flying through the air. Even watching it brings joy. The colors, the floating, the beauty, and then you try to put the butterfly in a jar, and what happens?
Once you get fixated on capturing the butterfly, the feeling and excitement falls away.
If you were to ask most people for advice on this topic, they would say out of love, but misguided in my opinion, “Be careful you don’t want to fall for someone that isn’t going to be there for you” or “You don’t want to get hurt.”
As much as this person loves you, it isn’t good guidance. It’s advice from a place of self protection and in that state, love can’t thrive.
Truth be told, most people are trying to protect themselves so they give you advice from that same space within them. Most of us aren’t walking around with open hearts.
And it’s not our faults, it’s conditioning. But we have a choice. It’s time to rise above that conditioning and lead with love. In fact, I feel the world right now is in such a state of self protection, that you can see love getting lost. The trust and safety is fading away.
But when we take what seems like one small act — a choice to love, a choice to fall in love — regardless of who it is and the outcome, what a way to live, and when the right person comes around, you feel good about yourself to be able to love and be loved.
A couple minutes later as I reflected more on her question, I turned to her and said, “You know, we can even fall in love with friends.” She said, “What do you mean?”
I said, “The beginning of a friendship where you feel excited that you met someone cool, interesting, someone that gets you, that’s falling in love.
When you form a partnership in business, and it feels aligned, you’re on the same page, and you’re excited to collaborate and build something special together, that’s falling in love.
We don’t know if the friendship will last a lifetime, or if the partnership will sustain decades, but to combine energies and venture into the unknown, knowing that you’re safe no matter what, that’s a beautiful experience.”
Now, the question I ask myself, and you, is how fun would life be, how alive would we feel, if we allowed ourselves to fall in love more, without any fear or trying to control how hurt or painful it might be in the end?
Let me know what you think in the comments below. I love hearing from you!