When I was younger, I was spirited.
I would frequently get into trouble at school for talking too much and for being too loud, and I distinctly remember getting mad every time I was told by a teacher I was “too “something.
I felt expressed. I was being myself and having fun, and as soon as the teacher would tell me to quiet down or stop talking, I felt less free, like I couldn’t be myself.
In childhood there are many moments like these where we want to do one thing but then are told to do another. This happens to all of us in some way.
As children we go from being fully expressed, having fun, and knowing exactly what we want, to slowly feeling heavy, feelings of hurt, guilt and pain.
Little by little we stop hearing what we want. We unknowingly let go of our dreams or put them on pause. As little girls we probably wanted to be a teacher, doctor, and ballerina all at the same time, and those dreams were replaced with what people told us was possible or not possible.
We start walking down the stable safe path, and along the way, again often unknowingly, we forget our dreams.
We forget what we really desire.
We forget that anything is possible.
We become more concerned with being validated or liked, doing what others tell us or what others perceive as the “right” thing and we lose our soul’s path.
Even if you love what you do right now, you can still lose the magic in it. You can lose the connection to the soul of why you loved it in the first place.
And honestly, it’s essential to our journey to get lost every now and then, because through that journey we evolve.
We grow into the next version of ourselves.
The catch is…
The evolution occurs when we admit we’re off our path, when we admit we aren’t as happy as we could be, when we realize that it could be better than it is.
Even if we don’t know what that looks like right now.
If you’re resonating with anything I just wrote, or feeling not so expressed in your life right now, there’s a reason.
And it has nothing to do with there being something wrong with you.
You’re being called to something bigger. You’re being called to dream again, to tap into your desires.
Now I get it, our minds can get in the way.
Our mind can conjure up all kinds of horrific scenarios to keep us from following our soul’s path because it’s usually in the direction of the “unknown”.
The mind doesn’t like the “unknown”. It fears it because it feels unsafe.
AND it’s so important, even crucial, to venture into the unknown.
That’s where intimacy lies, understanding of yourself and others, and the feeling of being alive!
Venturing into the unknown makes me think of adventurers like Christopher Columbus or Neil Armstrong.
They had no idea of what lied ahead. They took all the precautions, practiced, and tested all kinds of scenarios, and yet the journey into the unknown came from one of trust, passion, and belief in themselves.
It doesn’t take 100% belief or 100% trust. It just requires a deeper connection with yourself, experiencing your worthiness and knowing that no matter what, you will be okay. That’s when the magic flows.
When I asked my parents what I loved the most when I was child, they said I was always giving older kids advice, telling them what to do, and presenting them with different perspectives to consider.
Voila…exactly where I feel the most expressed even now, meaningful, thought provoking, perception shifting, conversations.
Tell me, what did you love when you were a child? What are your current dreams and desires you’re scared to declare because it’s in the unknown? Tell me in the comments below.