I’ve been in the depths of Motherhood.
I admit it’s not easy.
In fact it is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had.
There’ve been many meltdowns and the feeling of, “I have no idea with the hell I’m doing. Am I messing him up? Am I a bad mom?”
Then he smiles or grabs my hand while feeding, and those simple interactions seem to melt away so many of the tough moments.
I of course know I’m not a bad mom, and there’s no way to perfect parenting, and I’m not always going to know what to do.
It’s simply a consistent practice of tapping in and accessing my intuition to help guide me.
And that’s not always easy either. There’s another voice that can often seem stronger and louder. That’s my mind saying, “Are you screwing him up?”
In fact, last week on a call with Angie (alias) a Mom herself, she asked, “Is there a way to raise a whole and complete child?”
I said, “Great question.
In almost a decade of working with people around how their relationships are impacted by their childhood and the translations they made within their families and with their parents…
What I’ve seen is there isn’t a way to raise a whole and complete child…
Now, let me explain.
First I believe that each and every person on a soul level is already whole and complete. We came into this world existing in that perfection.
However, because we are divine beings having a human experience on a human level, there’s no way to raise a whole and complete child, especially when we as parents (or our parents) aren’t fully identified with the Soul part of ourselves.
But rather we are more identified with our human experience.
And in this human experience the translations of our children, and the translations we have had with our own parents, can’t be controlled or understood.
So, we begin to believe, we aren’t loved, we’re misunderstood, not good enough, loved less than our other siblings, not seen.
We have translated a lot about how we think our parents loved us, and therefore our children are doing the same, or will do the same.”
Angie said, “I totally understand.”
She said, “My daughter, who is 14, said to me last week, ‘Mom I felt like you didn’t really care about me and how much I love making art because anytime I had my classes or would do art at home you would never play or sit with me. You’d leave the room or do something else.’”
She told her daughter that it had nothing to do with her not caring about her and what she loved. Angie told her, “I was just trying to give you some space to do what you loved. I love that you’re creative, and I love you so much, and I care a lot. I just didn’t know you wanted me to be involved.”
Angie said to me, “This was a realization for me, because I had no clue that my daughter had thought that me giving her space was me not caring for her.”
I said, “I know, it’s so interesting to view the world from their perspective. And we’ve done the same thing with our parents.”
There are so many translations that are sticking with us that we’ve never given our parents a chance to clear up.
We just believe we are right about them and we continue to find evidence to prove how we aren’t understood.
It’s so important for us to heal this with our parents. To allow them to know how we felt.
So we can be set free.
I’m talking about the real feelings (super vulnerable feelings) of how it was hard for us, not trying to tell them how they should have been different. This is what most people do.
Angie said, “Yes I’m so happy my daughter expressed that to me, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to clear this up for her. Because that could be impacting the way she relates to her creative side.”
This is why I stress conversations with our parents.
It’s important to clear things up with them, so that we can get unstuck in our own lives.
It could be that you aren’t feeling fulfilled in life, or it could be that you feel you haven’t reached your full potential. All of this comes back to these deeper subconscious patterns from our childhood.
Even if you’ve lost your parents, your siblings, aunts or uncles, family friends can often fill in the gaps of misunderstanding.
The hard part is often uncovering what you’ve translated that’s keeping you stuck in your life right now, from your childhood.
That’s where The Parent Work ™ helps. If you’re curious about diving deeper simply fill out this form HERE, and my team will be in touch.
I would also love to hear, what is a translation you might want to clear up with your parents?