I’ve been seeing my acupuncturist (@healerfrank if you’re on Instagram) for the last 10 months, and he played a big part in supporting me emotionally and physically in getting pregnant. My sessions with him feel like therapy and a spa treatment all in one.
In our session this past week I really needed support with my neck. I had pulled it, most likely from breastfeeding.
So in the beginning of our session, I told him I needed to work on that for sure.
He then asked me how I was doing emotionally.
I said, “Pretty good. AND I am second guessing myself a lot with Motherhood which is having me overthink and get frustrated often. I know it’s normal considering everything is new and there’s a human being that is changing and growing in every moment of each day. But I find myself thinking there’s a “right” way and somehow I’m not doing the right thing while others are.
I’m trying to listen to my inner voice, but it’s been hard.”
After intently listening to me he paused and simply said in his zen like way, “Yeah it can all feel like a lot.”
We then started the actual acupuncture part of our session. He starts with putting his hands on my head; this is his way of tapping into what my body needs.
As he did that, a memory came to me.
This often happens.
He’s really great at creating space for healing.
I remembered my Mom writing a report I had in elementary school. It was a project on the ivory billed woodpecker, and she wrote most of the report plus drew the bird. All I remember doing was coloring the bird and rewriting my Mom’s words into the report. I also distinctly remember watching her write it thinking, “I can do this too!”
She took on writing my report, not because she thought I couldn’t do it, but more so to ensure we would get it done on time (I was often late on getting my homework done), and to also have it look as good as it could.
I also remembered thinking, “My mom probably does it better than me.”
Another memory came through where I wanted to learn how to cook and asked my Mom if I could help her cook. She would almost always reply with, “Just watch. You can learn a lot by watching. We also can’t afford messing it up.”
I remember hating it when she would say “just watch” because I wanted to do something.
Again I thought, “My mom can do it better than me.”
Or when I wanted to do a science fair project on rainbows and she said to do it on plants. So I did it on plants. That year I got 2nd place.
The next year I was determined to do rainbows and did, and won 1st place.
There were so many moments where it felt like my Mom knew better than me, and I just didn’t know as much as her or couldn’t do it as perfectly as she did.
I voiced these memories to Frank as I was remembering them.
I told him that I often say how great of a mother my Mom was, so hands on, and loving. She also just knew how to do certain things effortlessly and perfectly.
I then connected that I’m probably second guessing myself because of this conditioning and of my translation that my Mom knows more, especially when it comes to Motherhood.
Just having that awareness alone was a big deal for me!
I immediately started to trust myself more, and I wanted to work through it completely.
It was time to talk with my Mom…
I called her and through a stream of tears, I simply said, “I really need to hear that you think I’m a good Mom. I think of you as such a good Mom, and it would be nice to hear that you think I’m doing a great job.”
She said, “Of course. You’re an amazing Mom. You’re actually a Supermom. You’ve done so much to take care of yourself and Sohum, it’s amazing.”
The words hit my ears and healed something inside of me. I cried happy tears and really felt her truth and sincerity. I suddenly felt stronger and more confident.
This was validating for sure, but validation is different when it’s coming from a parent and the intention is to heal something from the past.
Since that conversation I’ve felt more grounded and tapped into my inner guidance.
That doesn’t mean I’ve completely stopped second guessing myself, it just means I can hear my intuition faster.
Now for you.
You might be second guessing someone you’re dating, or the marriage you’re in, or if you should commit to the person you’re with. It could be anything.
Ask yourself, what could that second guessing be connected to within your childhood?
Sometimes it’s not the easiest to pinpoint nor is it easy to know what you need to heal and move through, subconscious limiting beliefs with love and relationships, that’s why I work with people one on one and walk them through The Parent Work ™ process. If you’re curious about working with me, simply fill out this form, and my team will get back to you.