She said to me, “I can finally accept that I’m just different than my family, and that’s okay.”
Sounds like a good thing right?
Well, it can be if you truly feel free and expansive when saying it.
BUT almost always what most people are actually saying is the little girl within me has felt unseen, squashed in my expression, misunderstood, judged by my parents, so I’m just different.
Our mind, or ego, comes up with this thought of being different so that we retain our identity and don’t feel “less than”.
However, what’s compromised in the process is our sense of belonging.
A core human need.
What we are unknowingly saying to ourselves when we say “I’m just different” is I don’t belong.
When we say we don’t belong to the people that created us, nurtured us the best they could, and loved us (even when it absolutely didn’t feel like it), we are also saying we don’t belong to our family, culture, lineage. This has us disconnect from our roots, from ourselves.
This disconnection to our roots manifests into our lives as loneliness and as internal resistance (internal conflict).
Little did you know that a simple sentence like “I’m different than my family” would have such deep intentions.
The internal resistance has us feeling stuck somewhere in our lives because we are rebelling against our parents. Rebelling against our families. Rebelling against ourselves.
All that does is holds us back from our own expression often unaware of how we truly feel, and what we truly want. It has us chasing belonging out in the world.
It’s important to see you do BELONG, you’ve always belonged.
Let me say that again.
You’ve ALWAYS belonged.
Here’s what’s true…
Are you different in that you are one of a kind? YES.
Are you a mix of your parents’ genes and specific family lineages? YES.
Are you a lot like your mom and dad in looks and in personality? YES.
Did you come into this world with your own nature? YES.
So, you are unique, but you aren’t different. Everything your parents are is also within you, and that’s not only okay but beautiful, even the parts that don’t feel beautiful.
It’s so important to fully FEEL that with every cell in your body.
It’s through loving those parts of you, that are like them, that has you feel connected to yourself again.
Most of us only know 10% or less of the story of what makes our parents who they are. Find out more.
Get curious, look for the ways you’re like your parents. The good, the bad and the ugly. Love all of it. Appreciate all of it.
How has this feeling of not belonging to your family impacted your life right now?
Tell me about it in the comments below.
Honoring all of you,