This is about you, not your mom
In just the last several months, I’ve talked with over 200 women who are struggling in their relationship with their moms. They want and desire a deeper level of connection or to just feel more comfortable and free with her.
Over the last decade I’ve probably talked with thousands of women about their relationship with their moms, the most influential relationship in our lives.
The biggest pitfall I see when I’m talking to someone is that they are so focused on what their mom is doing. Things like…
- She never really listens to me, she just hears what she wants…
- My mom treats me like a child and tells me what to do even now!
- I feel judged by her, so I find myself hiding things from her and not being honest…
- I feel like I have to parent her or be there for her, and she doesn’t know how to do that for me….
- My mom isn’t emotionally capable of handling me…
And when we are focused on what our mom is doing and saying, what happens?
We disconnect from ourselves.
We go into frustration, annoyance, upset, even sadness because it feels like our mom’s issue, but it also keeps us from uncovering what’s underneath those emotions for ourselves.
We then put on a band-aid telling ourselves,
I’m just going to stay away.
I won’t say things in that way.
I will just ignore her the next time,
or I just need to accept her more.
I just need to let go of expectations.
But then your mom does it again, and right away you’re left feeling hurt, misunderstood, unheard and unseen.
Well, I’m giving you permission to be selfish.
Yes, that’s right. You get to be selfish.
You get to focus on yourself and uncover WHY, when your mom’s being herself, it feels hard, heavy, and hurtful to you.
Because if you don’t understand that, you will continue to feel stuck, like you’re on a hamster wheel with her.
Thinking you’re doing something different but nothing actually changes.
Often we think nothing is changing because our mom isn’t changing, but what if there was a way for her to show up differently with you, even if she’s not different?
What if she didn’t have to change for you to feel comfortable around her, for you to feel joyful around her, for you to be honest and open with her, for you to know exactly how to navigate the conversations so she can hear you, and understand you?
What if all it took was you shifting something inside of yourself for the whole relationship to feel more loving, connected, and fulfilling?
Well, that’s possible when you focus on you, and get the support you need to uncover what’s unconsciously impacting you when you’re interacting with your mom.
So, if you’re someone that…
Is ready to no longer feel the way you do around your mom day in and day out…
If you know that your mom’s time on this planet is limited, and you don’t want to carry around this resentment, and pain anymore…
And you want to break this cycle and the patterns that are keeping you stuck with your mom, and also break that same pattern that is impacting your relationship with your partner, kids, and even friends…
Then you’re ready for a change!