I made the impossible possible with my mom
Jennifer has always struggled in her relationship with her mom. In fact so much so, that she only talked with her mom when she absolutely had to or to coordinate having her mom see her sons.
When she was around her mom, she would literally feel repulsed in her presence. She couldn’t even hug her; it just didn’t feel good. She just wanted to avoid her mom completely.
As a child Jennifer was naturally more emotional. It didn’t matter if she was angry, sad, or frustrated she was told, “It’s not that bad.” “You’re too sensitive.” “Can’t you be different, can’t you be happy?”
She felt like her mom wanted to fix her constantly.
This made Jennifer feel dismissed and like there was something wrong with her because she felt so much all the time.
And, NOW this is what Jennifer said to me just recently:
“Before I couldn’t even look my mom in the eye, I was so angry and disgusted with her. And gosh, the last time we were together a few weeks ago, I was hugging her and I was crying. We were holding each other, and it felt so good and so authentic and like exactly what I needed and it was really beautiful. It’s just a complete opposite of where it was before.”
Jennifer literally believed that having a different, connected, more fulfilling relationship with her mom was impossible. She said to me, “Even my dad and husband question that anything can change because she is just ‘hard’ and they say I should just accept her.
But I knew deep down that my relationship with my mom was impacting how I mother, how I saw myself, and I yearned for a good mother-daughter relationship.”
Listen to what changed for Jennifer and what could change for you too: