The coronavirus and your mom...yup you read that right
If you’ve stepped into a grocery store lately, most likely you were hit with empty shelves, no toilet paper, the frozen section being cleared, and people in masks.
Fear is palpable.
The level of fear you’re feeling right now can feel like it’s being stirred up because of what’s happening in the world, when in fact, it couldn’t get stirred up if it wasn’t already within you.
How resilient we are around facing the fear in our lives, and our ability to step back into a state of love (where the magic of life happens), is directly connected to our relationship with our parents, but mostly our moms.
Here’s what I want you to know; we can be in a state of fear in our lives quite often.
It can look like:
“Should I speak up at this meeting or will it not matter?”
“OMG, I’m yelling at my daughter in the exact way my mom yelled at me.”
“I feel so scared and alone.”
“I feel like such a failure.”
“I can’t share this because I’m afraid I will be judged or that I’m too much.”
“I don’t want to take the chance to be rejected.”
What you may not know is that the level of fear you feel in your life right now isn’t directly from what’s happening in the world, the fear was already there; it’s just been activated in a strong way and is pushing you, asking you, to heal it.
And it comes directly from our parents and as women, especially from our moms.
When you were born you were a ball of light and love. Then your parents projected their fears, anxieties, and insecurities onto you given what they had experienced in their lives and what shaped them.
This is not to blame them, it’s just how it is unless we break the patterns.
We also had to be socialized, and in that process the love and light got dimmer and dimmer, and our subconscious was filled with fear that never existed before.
When you commit to no longer avoiding your relationship with your mom, but choose to release the anger, the conflict, the pain, the guilt, the frustration, inside of you…
That’s when you free yourself from the fear we unknowingly took on from our mothers that keeps us feeling stuck.
Here’s what I mean.
I had a client have a breakthrough moment in our session this week. She discovered that she has been saying to herself for years now, “I feel lost. I don’t know what I really want. I feel like I don’t really know myself.”
This has kept her playing small in her life.
And when I asked her if she saw her mom in the same way, she felt like a truth bomb fell on her.
She said, “Holy sh*it YES. I’ll be talking with my mom on the phone and she will say something that I just don’t believe, and I literally say in my head, she is so disconnected from herself, she doesn’t know who she is, she can’t even make decisions.”
Right there was a level of awareness she hadn’t known. She didn’t know that the very quality she resisted in her mom persisted in her.
And this is what happens to you too.
What you resist in your mom will persist inside of you unless you choose to really look at it and heal it for YOU.
In fact, my client’s mom was displaying these characteristics of not knowing how to make decisions or feeling disconnected from herself, because of her fear of making mistakes, which is the very fear my client has too.
And I get it…
Maybe you’ve told yourself, or were told by others, that you should just accept your mom for who she is.
Maybe you believe she will never change, so then you say to yourself what’s the point.
Maybe you feel exhausted by the idea of trying again with your mom.
Here’s what I know for sure, given my decade of experience in working with thousands of mother-daughter relationships first hand…
Accepting our mothers isn’t the answer because it has us bypass what’s happening inside of us, which doesn’t result in true healing.
Your mom CAN actually change, with you.
When you know exactly how to communicate with your mom and heal the pain inside of you it’s not exhausting, it’s actually uplifting and empowering.
So, to bring it back to what’s happening with the coronavirus.
Let me ask you this: are you falling into a lot of fear?
Are you feeling a disproportionate amount of worry?
Well know this, it’s actually coming from your family lineage.
Life is too precious as we are all really seeing front and center right now, to not address and feel free and at peace with the most influential relationship in our lives, the one with our moms.
In fact looking at our own fear, emotions, and triggers, and where they come from is helping us rise into a state of higher consciousness, for us to feel in control when everything around us externally feels out of control.
Sending you so much love & health,