What you’re resisting in your mom may get passed down
If you’ve done some or a lot of self-development, you’ve probably heard this before,
What you resist persists.
And it’s absolutely true.
It’s such a good perspective to really become aware of the unconscious limiting patterns that are playing out in your life that keep you stuck.
And the main root to these unconscious limiting patterns, especially as women, and mothers ourselves, is our moms.
I hear this sentiment more than anything else when I’m talking to moms, “I’ve made sure that I don’t treat my kids the way my mom treated me because I absolutely don’t want them to go through what I did.”
And although you might be relating to your kids differently, if you’re still resisting your mom, if you haven’t done the work to heal that relationship, where YOU, (and I emphasize YOU because it’s about you not your mom) don’t feel a sense of peace within yourself when you are around her…
You will unconsciously pass down your pain and hurt to your kids…
And it’s sneaky. You might see it when…
You find yourself suddenly thinking, “OMG I sounded like my mom,” while parenting your daughter.
Your son says to you, “I’m not sure why, but I can’t share things with you,” just like your relationship with your mom.
Your daughter thinks she’s not special, which is exactly the way you felt with your mom because she preferred your sister or brother over you, but you didn’t think you treated her that way.
When you simply decide that your mom isn’t capable of change, or being supportive emotionally isn’t possible, or that’s she’s manipulative (and so many other labels)…
Guess what happens? You don’t get to see the capacity of a human being, a mother, and more importantly you stop yourself from healing from within.
And when that happens, it is then guaranteed to be passed down.
Something you don’t know about me, is that it took me 10 years after getting married to truly decide to have kids.
Why you might ask?
Well, a bunch of reasons. One was that I was really clear, especially through the work I do around healing our relationships with our mothers, that I wanted to move through more of my own internal emotional blocks in order to really raise my son consciously.
Now, I didn’t necessarily need to wait.
I just needed to trust that I was committed to looking inwards and healing hurt and pain that still existed inside of me with my mom & dad.
But specifically my mom, in order to show up and be as present as possible in parenting my son.
What you may also not know about me is…
One of the biggest reasons for why I’m so passionate about healing our relationship with our moms while they are still alive, and why I’m the world’s best in supporting women in finally feeling seen, heard, and acknowledged by their moms, is because it’s the fastest way to raising the next generation consciously.
The act of choosing to heal your relationship with your mom,
to claim that there’s a yearning for a more meaningful, joyful, easeful relationship with her,
to say out loud that you no longer want to feel guilty, angry, or frustrated around her, but in fact want to feel a sense of peace is not only for you, but for your kids, born and unborn.