Part 4
Shallow vs. depth...you choose which one you are
I spoke at a Steve Harvery conference about love and relationships.Yup it was one of those pinch myself moments.
At the conference I shared with highly successful professional women, that what’s keeping them stuck in love are what I call Karmic Patterns.
I explained that these patterns didn’t start with them, but they are keeping them experiencing the following in love…
Going on 2 – 3 dates and then being ghosted, over and over again.
Staying in a relationship for way too long, with it going nowhere.
Being told by the guy they like that somethings missing.
Attracting men that ultimately choose someone else.
Hearing it’s me not you, as if on repeat.
Being cheated on or betrayed in some way.
Attracting in emotionally unavailable men.
Relationships fizzling after a couple of months.
And here’s the thing…
I’ve spoken hundreds of times in front of large audiences and I have the same experience every time…
After I share the deeper truth of how unearthing and releasing their Karmic Patterns is the key to their love lives, certain women are ready to release these deeper patterns are the key to unlocking love for them (more on this kind of woman in a second, hint: I call them women with depth).
Other women are committed to staying shallow when thinking about their love lives.
They will balk at the idea that there’s anything deeper going on. They want to keep believing that it’s their age, the city they live in, or that there’s a shortage of high-quality men.
They will follow experts that also tout this. It’s the men that are the problem, or you have to be able to get into a man’s head and learn what men want so you can win the right ones over.
These women will go out with their friends and seemingly tell the same stories over and over again about their dates, almost excited to share the weird off the wall experiences they’ve had.
And on one level they’re exhausted by their dating life, but they choose to keep thinking that playing the numbers game is all it takes to find and keep love.
These women have their walls up.
I will challenge them on how they’re thinking, and they will immediately get defensive and say, “Well I’m not desperate, I don’t need a man. I’m super independent. I’m good alone. I know I just gotta keep going.”
I’m not even telling them that they are desperate, but they aren’t listening. They only hear what they think I’m going to say, not what I’m saying.
And I get it, after working with hundreds if not thousands of women around love and relationships over the last decade, what they are really getting defensive about is that they’ve been deeply hurt, they’ve stopped trusting themselves or men when it comes to love, they’re scared of losing their freedom, and fear that there’s something wrong with them, but they can’t voice any of this.
Because it’s too vulnerable to reveal, and their walls of protection won’t even let them go there.
They are high-achieving, successful, beautiful women, but they’re often unwilling to go deeper, their pride is too big, and they would rather keep trying to figure it out by themselves because they think they SHOULD be able to figure it out.
Or they believe that all they need is a session here and there, to get little nuggets of awareness and then they can piece it together for themselves.
In fact, many of these women refuse to make a significant time and money investment in themselves because underneath it they’re scared of going inwards.
They’re willing to buy designer bags, invest in luxury hotels and trips, but they’re not looking at the true cost of wasted time and energy on the wrong men, and the circling mental energy that has them questioning themselves along the way.
Here’s the harsh truth, you can’t fix your love life on your own.
And it’s not because you aren’t aware enough or smart enough…it’s because…
Your mind is wired to stay comfortable and safe.
And to truly transform your love life you have to get deeply UNCOMFORTABLE.
In that discomfort is where the magic happens.
When it comes to Karmic Patterns and uncovering them through The Parent Work™, it’s all subconscious work. Literally, even if you tried to read a book to uncover them, you would only get so far.
Because you will only uncover what’s comfortable. It will feel like an AHA moment but you won’t ultimately know how to truly release it.
Having sessions with therapists or somatic energy workers here and there will leave you repeating the same subconscious patterns, because it’s not enough to truly rewire the subconscious.
You need accountability and a proven system consistently supporting you in getting outside of your comfort zone, that’s when you experience sustainable change. That’s when you go from single to soul level love.
Here’s the kind of woman that I see truly transform her love life, stop wasting her time and energy, never settle, and find the kind of love that changes her on a soul level.
A woman with DEPTH is someone that is tired of playing games and thinking about what men want. She is completely done with dating the wrong kinds of men or feeling badly about herself because she simply has no traction in love.
A woman with depth wants to dig deeper because discovering new parts of herself, and letting go of what no longer serves her has her operating from the highest version of herself.
She knows that operating from her highest version takes her into a state of flow, of manifesting what she desires in her life with ease and grace.
A woman with DEPTH is aware enough to know when she needs support, and the fastest path to get to where she wants to be is to hire the best coach or mentor out there to hold her hand, guiding her to get through any blocks to love that may be in the way.
A woman with DEPTH is ready to get vulnerable to truly open her heart and discover the walls that have kept her toning her success down with men, becoming someone she’s not, afraid that she won’t be accepted for exactly who she is because she knows from experience it’s not working.
If you’re a woman with DEPTH, you are in the right place!
I’ve got you.
I personally had to make the move from being a woman that was staying shallow to being a woman of depth.
I just needed someone to hold my hand and open my eyes to what was possible. Once I had that, I could see so clearly how much it was costing me to stay shallow with myself.
You deserve more than just tips and tricks and more dating rules…
They just keep you second guessing yourself and in a state of not trusting.
Being a woman of DEPTH is courageous, and it’s simply a choice.
As Brené Brown says, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
My team and I are here to help you unearth who you’re capable of being with men, and love, so that being seen feels natural and safe.
With love,
Kavita
If you’re committed to transforming your love life, opening your heart to receive the kind of love that you are worthy of and are meant for, and if you’re willing to do the work to ensure you don’t settle, then we can give you the step by step game plan to make that happen.
Book a call with us and let’s talk
We’ll get on the phone for about 30 minutes and dive deep into what’s keeping you from finding and keeping true love.
We’ll get you clear on:
- What’s working and not working in your love life right now
- What subconscious Karmic Patterns (love blocks) are keeping you stuck.
- The EXACT next step you should be taking to call in a love that cherishes you adores you.
Next: This might be hard to hear