I had dinner with my oldest and best friend last night. Just to give you a sense of the age of our friendship, our families were friends when we were in diapers, but we weren’t actually friends until about 16. There is something so magical for me to have such a close friend like this. We don’t talk all the time and we don’t see one another every week even though we live literally 20 minutes away, but the love flows deep for one another.
Last night during dinner we were chatting eating pizza and drinking a glass of wine here in NYC in the west village, and the stuff I started to remember about our high school years and all the fun we used to have, and the kind of person she is and the kind of person I am.
I know it sounds so weird to say this because it should be obvious, but it was uncanny how much I have experienced with her and know about her. I took our friendship for granted until yesterday.
Funny enough when we see one another we rarely go down memory lane, usually we are busy catching up on our current situations and lives, especially because I don’t like living through the past, but it was so important for us to do that yesterday, because frankly I was doubting our relationship and feeling disconnected.
This happens to the best of us because I was trying to THINK my way to connecting with her instead of just tapping into the love we have had for so many years together. She on the other hand is a pro at having this quiet confidence in our friendship, love that about her.
I see this all the time with women, and I want to nip it in the bud because it enrages me to know that women lose themselves and their lives when they meet the man of their dreams. Yes there is a period of time that you can be consumed by your man because it is shiny and new and you are trying to get to know one another, but if at any point in time friendships begin to feel distant and friends are asking where have you been. That is a large red flag. Recognize it.
To have a healthy loving relationship with your man you CANNOT expect him to provide all the happiness and support you require.
It is just not realistic or fair. There is a type of connection a woman can only have with another woman, you know what I mean by that. It has nothing to do with bashing men, it is just there is an intuitive knowing because as women we pretty much feel and think a lot of the same things that sometimes a man cannot understand, not because they don’t have the ability to, but because they are not a woman.
Therefore your relationship with your ladies is SACRED, don’t drop that for a man or even put it as second priority. Because if you do, trust me there will come a time when you feel like there is something missing in your love relationship, and I promise you it has nothing to do with your man.
So your homework is to reconnect with your closest friend even if you have been connected, express yourself fully hold nothing back because she can take it :), and tap into that love that flows both ways! And witness the change it has on YOU and your relationship with your man.