Recently, I hosted the Done With Being Single Event, and interviewed the amazing Arielle Ford about how to manifest your soulmate using the Law of Attraction. She gave us some incredible tips to how to use this law of the Universe to draw in love. I love this woman. She herself used the same methods to manifest her soulmate, Brian.
Today I want to share with you the most important step in this process.
Arielle says, “You can visualize all day long, but if you still FEEL unworthy of love, you are not going to attract love. We have to go from our heads to our hearts and experience feelings of love, appreciation, and gratitude, and then we manifest love. You need to feel that what you asked for is already yours.”
To attract the love you desire, you need to FEEL that love now. This step is SO mandatory to attracting in your soulmate that she describes this energy of feeling love, appreciation, and gratitude as the “Secret Sauce” of soulmate manifestation.
See, as Arielle says, the Law of Attraction is always working. The feelings you are having in the present moment are constantly attracting experiences right back to you to match those feelings. We have all unknowingly wanted a dress at a party, and somehow gone out shopping and found exactly what we wanted. That is manifesting.
So to use the Law of Attraction to attract the relationship you really desire, you must consciously CHOOSE the feelings you DESIRE to be experiencing, and conjure up these feelings now. One very powerful feeling I conjured while attracting in my husband, Hemal, was the feeling of being with a man that would allow me to be all of myself all of the time.
You must really identify with what you want to feel in the relationship, instead of creating a checklist. This is what will help you to manifest the man you desire.
This can be easier said than done, right? How do you go from feeling lonely, sad, and frustrated with your current state of singleness to feeling filled up with love and appreciation right now? How do you experience the juiciness of knowing you are fully supported, accepted, and desired for the very perfect YOU that you are?
Well… I want to share with you the #1 tactic I use with my private clients that helps them to fully embody this secret sauce of feeling loved NOW:
In order to begin feeling fully loved and supported now, you must shift your perspective of your parents.
I know. Crazy, right? But stay with me…
When we look back at our childhoods, we sometimes think our parents should have been better or given more; they should have hugged more, listened more, or just understood more. These feelings are totally understandable. But I want to challenge you on this: How much of your parents’ story do you really understand? What shaped them into who they are today? Can you understand their struggles?
Your relationship with your parents and their relationship with each other —whether they are alive or have passed away—is crucial in telling you how you’ll be in your own relationships. Because if you can’t see or allow in the love from the people that created you, then what does that say about allowing in love from others?
Even Arielle Ford has said to me: if it difficult for you to manifest the man you desire using the Law of Attraction that means there is something that is blocking you from becoming the clear channel to let love in. And that requires releasing and clearing away the beliefs that you have adopted from your childhood and from your parents that may be keeping you from love.
The way you perceive your parents and their relationship is just one example of the beliefs we adopt about love because they are our first role models for what a relationship looks like. You will probably fall in either one of these categories below.
“It feels like my parents don’t love one another.”
If you think your parents should have gotten a divorce a long time ago, but they didn’t because of some part of their marriage that kept them united, this will result in you putting pressure on your relationships. My parents have been married for 40 years, and even though they had problems and maybe should have divorced, their shared culture and religion kept them together. The way this impacted my relationship was I placed a ton of pressure on my husband to have my same religious beliefs, which nearly broke us up. The key word here is “pressure” because subconsciously I was driven by this belief that my husband and I wouldn’t have a lasting relationship if we didn’t have these shared religious beliefs, like my parents did. And ironically, this was the very thing that practically broke us up.
“My parents have a fabulous relationship.”
If you believe your parents had an amazing relationship, then this typically places pressure on you to have a “perfect” relationship. And this puts you in a pattern to have little fun while dating, and to typically be the one that is the breaker-upper in relationships. Most men aren’t “good” enough. Does this sound familiar?
In the next several weeks, I’ll be giving you some tips on how you can begin shifting perspective of your parents — and how this will help you have an entirely new experience in feeling loved now and finding a man you desire!
So, today I want you to ask yourself: When you were younger, what did you feel about your parents’ relationship? Whether they were divorced or not then or now doesn’t matter. In one sentence write down how you felt about your parents’ relationship when you were younger.
Then think about your last relationship and ask yourself if you fall into one of the two categories that I explained above. If you fall into the “my parents don’t love one another” category, then you need to start seeking out an understanding of the love they shared. And if you fall into the “my parents have a fabulous relationship” category, then you need to seek out how your parents’ relationship was difficult. In both situations, you will begin to see the full picture instead of the perception you have created in your head, and this will permanently shift how you are approaching love.
Try this out and let me know what you come up with in the comments!