This past week I was in San Francisco with two of my good friends Nisha and Sarah.
On Thursday we went out to lunch with 2 other powerhouse women entrepreneurs. One of them has written 15 best-selling books and has been helping women through her advice for over 25 years, just to give you a sense of the amazingness of this lunch.
We all started gabbing about our relationships and love, and Ashley (that is the name I am making up for her) said, “Well I am madly in love with my man and we are getting married in April!”
She found true love over 60
The words came out of her mouth and before she finished saying April, the other woman with us said, “OH you have to hear how they met – it is the best love story ever!”
Now, I will be honest one of the first things that came to mind was, “Is this her first marriage?”
She was in her sixties and I sort of assumed it wasn’t.
I was totally wrong. This was her first marriage and love of her life.
Their love story.
Ashley said, “I haven’t always been ready to be in a relationship. In fact most of my life it was scary to think about being in one. Finally in the last couple of years I have been on the search for my soulmate.”
I leaned in.
She said that she had gone on this self development retreat on a cruise line and one of her closest friends was meeting her for dinner.
He brought two friends with him that she didn’t know – one was a female and the other male.
As her friend approached the table Ashley was sitting at, his friend jumped in front of him and the other woman and introduced himself to Ashley immediately.
She looked at the woman next to him and said, “It’s nice to meet you – is this your girlfriend?”
He immediately said she was just a friend but continued with, “I am really pleased to meet you and would love to sit next to you.”
Ashley was ecstatic but was trying to hold back.
She explained to us that when she envisioned meeting her partner, the dominant characteristic that she wanted was for him to take initiative – to be a planner and action taker.
He sure was taking action!
They connected that night and he revealed he had written some books as well.
Then he followed that statement up by saying, “I would love to take a walk later if you are up for it.”
She said she would love too, but at this point had no idea how he felt about her (although later she asked and he told her he knew right away. He said, “you feel like home to me” in the same way his late wife had).
Ashley translated his invitation for a walk to mean he wanted to “pick her brain” about how to market his book.
This had happened to her before and so she decided to invite her friends along. She didn’t want to get stuck talking to him about his book!
Shortly into the walk she realized she was totally wrong.
He wanted to get to know her more, and that was it!
From that moment forward they just knew they were each others match.
I LOVED this story.
I remember when Hemal had broken up with me before we were married.
I went to see the movie Something’s Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton.
In that movie they fall in love in their sixties.
I remember breaking down and crying saying, “There IS STILL HOPE! I can fall in love and get married even in my sixties!”
I was literally ugly crying in the movie theater.
It really helped me to see that movie because often we get into our tunnel vision and can’t see what is actually possible in our lifetime to find true love.
We just decide we will never have what we want and some of us start to believe our minds instead of our hearts.
This is what I want you to KNOW:
- When YOU ARE TRULY READY for LOVE it will come knocking on your door.
Often we haven’t been real with ourselves around how ready we actually are. There are fears lurking in the shadows and it is important to look there so we get the head and the heart on the same page.
So, ask yourself, “What would I be afraid of really having my love life look the way I want?”
- Many of us (being strong, independent women) think we know it all when it comes to love and life.
I get it, I am one of them.
What I have realized with love is that “thinking you know it all” is actually keeping you from looking inwards.
So, start asking the first question from a place of, “I know nothing.” Life will deliver answers to you much faster.
Get quiet with yourself. Meditation isn’t about having no thoughts it is about getting into the habit of watching and observing your thoughts.
You can meditate for 5 minutes a day. It is just about giving yourself time and space to get out of your head and into your heart.
We exist in our heads WAY too much and that knowingness that you will HAVE LOVE is within you.
I know some of you are thinking, “I am either already close to sixty so then what?” or “I can’t wait until I am sixty!”
But if that is what you are thinking right now then you are missing the point.
What I am trying to express here is IT WILL HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT.
Your task right now is to look within and start to become way more aware of what may be stopping you.
Your Lovework this week is get really honest with yourself and me by telling me in the comments below what some of your fears would be if true love was to show up today knocking on your door.