Do you freeze up in front of men who are “out of your league”?

This week has been a little crazy. I have been slightly under the weather, and Hemal is so good at taking care of me. I literally turn into a baby in these moments. He sometimes has a big job 😉

When we first start dating he bought me a teddy bear from CVS. YES, I know from CVS not like some high end toy store. However, what I loved about it was it showed Hemal’s “softer” side that I didn’t know he had.

Well, while buying me some tylenol this week he bought this….

out of your league

He said it reminded him of us. Hilarious right?

When I first saw Hemal from across the room at a dinner party, he wasn’t necessarily the cutest man in the room (although he is to me now:)

He was the one that had some REAL presence. Like a don’t mess with me attitude. That was intimidating!

Do you know this feeling?

You see a beautiful, successful, charismatic man from across the room on his way over to you.

Maybe you’re even out on a first date and his online profile gave all the signs of a super high-quality man and he looks even better in person. You wonder, is he out of my league?

All of a sudden you freeze up, run the other way to avoid the interaction or start mumbling something that totally keeps you from connecting the way you know you can.

It’s happened to the best of us, but it doesn’t have to keep happening.

In this weeks episode of KavitaTV, I reveal my own experience with this and the trick I used to bring the nerves back down and connect with what is simply another human being.

Click here to watch:

Leave me your comments after the video of your realizations and insights. Have you ever felt like a man was “too good” for you? How did you handle it?

I’ll see you inside.

In Love,


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  • Aymee

    Hello Kavita,

    I dated an “out of my league” men for 2 years until we broke 2 years ago. I related quite well at the begining but as I was falling in love I became my self in a doormat, accepting his date postponing and so on.

    I dated another man afterwards and could check it didn’t occour with normal ones.
    I learnt about what happened, part for your post regarding issues with our parents and in my teenager age.

    Now, he is approaching again. I’m concerning to act as a high value woman the whole time now. Please, give giving us advise about this topic.


    • Kavita

      HI Aymee, the key is not to “act” and just “be”. I’m sure you are wonderful and that is why he has come back because he knows this too, Just be yourself. There is a saying “We teach people how to treat us” so you allowed him to treat you as a doormat because he was on that pedestal. Once you take the steps to take him off that pedestal and treat him as “normal” you will allow him to see you and respect you as an equal.

  • Tina

    Great tips! In the moment when I resist those feelings of why am I acting so shy,the awkwardness lingers. Listening does help and the everyone shits reminder works well too I take it a step further if I have a hard time being in the moment I think to myself his poop smells really bad and none of us are getting out of here alive! Lastly he has shortcomings too ain’t no one here but God determines my fate. When I put my spiritual beliefs and my God on a pedestal no one can top that. It allows me to easily talk with anyone! Love what you do. Keep it up.

    • Kavita

      Thank you Tina!

  • Michele

    Hi Kavita – this happened to me, but I didn’t even know it! I met a man online and we connected quickly which is rare for me. I too think we are all human and rarely get intimidated. After the first date, I thought he would be a nice texting buddy. After the second date, I started saying and doing things that didn’t make sense. Once we were talking about music and concerts and right after I said, “but i’m not a groupie, in fact I’m going to be working with orphans soon.” hahah, wth!! It’s true, but it sounded so weird. Into the third and fourth date, I continued to say and do silly things and would immediately shake my head and say to myself ” what the hell just happened?” After he bailed, I realized that I was nervous around him and I didn’t even know it!! Thanks for your advice on being present!

    • Kavita

      HI Michele, it’s funny how you realized it but at the same time didn’t think you did. You noticed that the connection was rare, and went into it not expecting it to turn into anything more then “a nice texting buddy”. So you lowered your expectations to protect yourself from being hurt. All of us show our barriers in different ways. Some make random jokes. If you find this happening again, remember this situation, and accept the nervousness. When we try to act when we aren’t nervous when we are, it just confuses our brain and we are no longer being true to who we are. So amazing that you were able to see it so now you can learn from it! 🙂

  • Victoria

    Kavita – this was great. Sometimes I feel that my boyfriend is out of my league, so I still struggle sometimes with these thoughts. I can be really hard on myself in those moments – like “why can’t you be more present? he’s already with you, isn’t he?” and that’s probably the worst part. With him, I’ll just tell him I feel really nervous and excited to be with him. It works most of the time, because then he’ll say that back.

    • Kavita

      That’s amazing Victoria. So happy for you and the progress you’ve made in your relationship.